The Nanny
by joiedevivre2011
Summary: **AU Rizzles** Jane Rizzoli, 19, almost 20, is trying to put herself through school, so over the summer, she reluctantly takes a job for a wealthy family in Boston to be the live-in nanny for their two children. An unlikely friendship soon begins to develop...and changes everything she thought she knew about herself.
1. Chapter 1

...I'm back...and while I still have mixed feelings about it, I've been persuaded, for now, to start posting here again. The things I wrote during my hiatus here may eventually find themselves also posted. Yeah...

This fic started as a complete joke, meant to be a ficlet reblogged with the Susie Chang crotchblock stamp I created, but alas, people begged for a full fic, and for some reason, this fic has come pouring out of me. I've already written five chapters in like a week, and right now, I plan to post a new chapter every couple of days. While I'm still not at all sure how long the final fic will be, all of my creative mojo is flowing into this fic right now.

I wouldn't be able to continue this without the encouragement of a select few. They know who they are, and bless their beautiful little Rizzles-filled souls for pushing me and reading...and watching the words flow from my fingertips as I write (shout out to Google Docs for making that happen).

So without further ado...here we go.

* * *

Jane had whined and grumbled about the whole thing for three days. She didn't want to be a live-in nanny for three stupid months to some elite, mega-rich Boston family, but when her mother told her how much the family was planning to pay, she knew, despite the fact that she didn't even like children that much, no matter how good she was with them, it was an opportunity she couldn't afford to pass up. It was enough money for her to attend at least three semesters at almost any of the state universities, so begrudgingly, Jane picked up the phone and made a call to accept the job.

* * *

The Isles and whatever-her-husband's-last-name-was home was practically a mansion, and Jane understood now how the family could pay so much money for a live-in nanny for the summer. Knocking quietly on the maroon front door, she realized that she should ring the doorbell instead.

Several moments later, a petite, well-dressed honey blonde likely in her mid-30s answered the door, swinging it wide open.

"Jane, hello!" the woman greeted cheerfully, reaching out her hand to shake the young brunette's.

Jane readjusted the large duffle bag on her shoulder and then stuck out her hand. The blonde's, she noted, was warm and soft, her grip firm but still ladylike. "Hi, it's nice to meet you."

"Come in! Let me show you to your bedroom and then I can give you a tour of the house. The children are currently taking naps, so we'll need to be quiet walking by their rooms," the doctor explained.

"Yeah, sure. Lead the way." She stepped inside and Maura shut the door quietly behind her before turning and heading toward the large staircase on the other side of the foyer. "This place is just...wow."

The honey blonde shot her a smile back over her shoulder. "Thank you. I'm quite fond of the space as well."

As the two ascended the stairs, Jane couldn't help but notice how tight the woman's skirt was, seeing as her line of sight was directly at her backside. Embarrassed at such a thought, she quickly glanced down and tried instead to focus on not tripping over her own feet going up the steps.

When they approached the top, Maura turned right and walked past two doors on the left and a door on the right, appearing to head straight toward an opened door at the end of the corridor.

"The doors on the left are the children's rooms, which are connected by a bathroom," the older woman whispered. "The door on the right is, as of now, their playroom, and this one, here," she said, while walking through the doorway, "is your room. You have your own bathroom. I hope everything in here is to your liking, and if not, please let me know."

Jane looked around, mouth wide open in shock at the grandiose personal space, before tentatively placing her bag on the floor next to the foot of the four post queen sized bed. "Jesus. This is bigger than mine and my little brothers' bedroom combined! And I don't even have to share a bathroom with anyone!"

Closing the door so as not to disturb the children, Maura looked hopeful at Jane's incredulous reaction as the turned toward the younger woman. "Does that mean it'll suit you?"

"Suit me?" Jane turned back around to face her host. "I could live here forever and not mind."

"Wonderful, then," Maura beamed. "Would you like to explore the bathroom before we head into the rest of the house?"

Grinning, Jane turned around toward the bathroom door and opened it tentatively. As she pushed the door open, her jaw dropped again. "There's a clawfoot tub," she whispered in awe. She didn't hear the older woman approach and stand behind her, so when Maura spoke, Jane startled a bit, whirling around to face her.

"Don't tell anyone, but sometimes I sneak in here to take a long, hot bath," the reddish blonde told her in a stage whisper. "My husband insisted on a large garden tub with jets for the master bath, but there is simply something, mm," she hummed, "majestic, I suppose, about soaking your cares away in a clawfoot tub."

For some reason unbeknownst to Jane, the older woman's words caused a prickling sensation along her lower spine, and she smiled bashfully. "Well I'm not about to rat you out," she replied, still smiling.

"Thank you, Jane," Maura replied softly with a smile, "It is very much appreciated."

Shrugging nonchalantly, Jane asked, "Tell me again where your husband is this summer?"

"Japan, for an extended business trip," the older blonde said simply. "He travels a good bit with work, but this time it's for a very important, new project, so I decided this summer especially I would certainly need an extra hand around here with the children. It's been difficult trying to work full rotations at the hospital and take care of Ethan and Samantha."

While her face seemed relatively calm, Jane sensed something in Maura that didn't exactly seem peaceful. She mentally filed that away to examine in case it seemed important.

"I was very appreciative when your mother approached me at the hospital and told me she'd heard I was looking for someone. I simply adore her. We've chatted on many occasions while she volunteers in the children's oncology ward."

"Ma's nosy," Jane said, laughing.

Maura cracked a smile. "Even so, I'm not sure I would have found someone to help me otherwise," the doctor replied, "so in this particular instance, I was grateful she is."

Jane swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and sincerely replied, "Me too."

"Would you," the blonde began to say before softly clearing her throat and trying again, "would you like to see the rest of the house?"

"Please continue." The young brunette gestured outward with her arm.

* * *

It had turned out that Doctor isles had taken several days off to help Jane become comfortable with the children's daily routine, and Jane found it amusing that the older woman had printed out detailed schedules for most of the days of the week.

"The only times that really need to be strictly adhered to are their scheduled activities outside the house and bedtimes. Everything else is merely suggested and thus flexible," Maura had politely explained. "And if you ever need me, I always have my cellphone on me, unless I'm actually in surgery. In those cases, please call this number and they'll notify me as immediately as they can, okay?"

"Um, ok. How do I get them to their activities?"

"Oh, you'll have full access to the Audi, dear, of course!""

"You're gonna let a 19 year old drive around a like $50,000 car?" Jane's eyebrows shot up quickly.

"I have full coverage, naturally, but I trust you to drive carefully, especially considering my children will almost always be in the vehicle with you, Jane," the older woman replied seriously.

"Yes, of course," Jane assured her, "But really?"

Gently the doctor placed her right hand on Jane's bicep, squeezing to comfort her. "You'll be fine."

The older woman's touch this time made Jane's stomach start doing flips, and she once again swallowed a lump in her throat before smiling nervously back at her.

Maura herself already felt a natural affinity for Jane, and her longest touch yet on Jane's arm sparked a warm feeling low in her belly, one that she immediately recognized, but hadn't felt for many years. She blushed and looked away toward the clock, noting it was nearly 4pm and Ethan and Samantha had slept their allotted hour and a half for naptime. "I'll go wake up the children so you can get to know them a little. Would you like to come with me, or," Maura spoke softly, letting her voice trail off, giving Jane the option to answer how she pleased.

"If you don't mind, I'll just stay here and wait for you?" Jane decided. "If you'll just direct me to where the glasses are, I'm a little thirsty."

"Oh, of course! How rude of me," Maura apologized. "You could actually just get a bottled water from the fridge, if you'd like, dear. I'll be back momentarily."

As the honey blonde walked away, Jane exhaled slowly, her brain firing a million miles an hour. Her body's reaction to Maura's touch alarmed her. She'd never felt something so intense, and she knew deep in her gut that she shouldn't even start to analyze it all, because things might end up somewhere they shouldn't if she did.

* * *

Ethan and Samantha took an instant liking to the tall brunette beauty, and Jane quickly realized they were incredibly different than other children she'd interacted with their age. Ethan was chatty, but very intelligent. His vocabulary was the most impressive she'd heard for only five years old, and Jane mused that he had to have gotten it from his mother. His features, except his hazel eyes, were much darker than the doctor's, so she figured he must have gotten those from his father's side.

Samantha, on the other hand, was quiet and calm, with a sparkle in her eye that indicated at even just three years old, she certainly followed as much as she could possibly understand for her age of everything happening around her. When the little girl smiled, she had the same one sided dimple that Maura did, and Jane knew she would be fighting the entire summer telling her no.

Meanwhile Maura observed quietly, struck with wonder, as the three interacted. It was almost as if she wasn't even there, and while normally she would have felt a pang of jealousy at her children bonding so quickly with someone else, with Jane, it simply felt natural.

That thought both warmed her heart and chilled her to the bone.

She would have to be on high alert this summer.

* * *

Please do take a moment to tell me what you think. I'd really like your positive commentary and/or constructive criticism.  
Also, line breaks suck here. It's like they don't want you to use anything but those stupid gray lines.


	2. Chapter 2

HOLY MOTHER OF RIZZLES. I cannot tell you how absolutely blown away I am by everyone's (very positive) reaction to this fic. As of now (11pm ET), there are over 30 reviews and nearing 100 follows! I was nearly peeing myself with excitement all day long as email notifications went off on my phone.

I felt so overwhelmed by the response that I decided to go ahead and give you the next chapter, but after that, I do plan to wait several days before posting each time. I'm mostly doing this to make sure that I'm staying ahead enough with what I have written.

I could say thank you a thousand times and it still not be enough. What an incredible "return" it's been!

* * *

After Doctor Isles was certain that Jane had a good grasp on handling the children and their daily routine, she went back to her normal surgical rotations, seeing Jane only briefly a few times a week, but the two stayed in contact via text, and if something particularly exciting happened, the young brunette made sure to take a picture or video to send to Maura.

For her part, Jane stayed on top of the schedule Maura had set, though she didn't let the older honey blonde know that sometimes she just let Ethan and Samantha loose in the house, running around and often playing hide and seek. She usually did so when they needed to burn off a little more energy before naptime or bed.

About three weeks after Jane moved in, Maura came home early from the hospital to the sounds of loud squeals and the distinctive slapping of bare feet on hardwood floors, originating from upstairs. Alarmed, the older woman quickly set her belongings on the kitchen island and rushed through the house to the stairs. Once there, the squeals morphed into childish giggles and Maura's fears subsided.

"The pajama monster is gonna get youuuuu!" Maura heard Jane growl out in a comical monster voice.

"No, no, Jay! Not da jamma monster!" she heard her daughter squeak.

"Mama will be home soon, and the pajama monster has to come before she gets here, or she'll be mad at me!"

Glancing down at her watch, Maura noticed that it was 30 minutes past the children's bedtime and she frowned. Had Jane not been adhering to the proper bedtime?

Instead of intruding, Maura decided she'd wait for Jane to finish putting the children to bed, so as to not further disrupt their schedule, and wait for her in the kitchen. Turning on her heel, she headed back into the kitchen and selected a nice bottle of Malbec from the small wine rack, making a mental note to replace the bottle with another from the wine cellar.

By the time she was taking her third sip of the smoky red and reading a journal article on her iPad, she finally heard Jane's footsteps heading toward her and then stop abruptly.

"Oh, you're home," Jane greeted quietly, surprised.

Maura's lips formed a thin line briefly before she spoke, "And you put the children to bed more than 30 minutes past their bedtime."

Instantly Jane's eyes went wide. "Doctor Isles, please don't be mad," the young brunette begged. "For some reason they were just full of energy this evening, and then Sam insisted that she wanted to draw pictures for you, and of course Ethan wanted to join in, so after I made dinner, we sat down in the playroom to draw, and we were just having so much fun that I accidentally let time get away from me and-"

"Jane," Maura interrupted, "Please take a deep breath."

"I am so, so sorry," Jane replied. "I know you told me to stick to their bedtimes, and I swear I have been! But tonight just..."

"Jane, please calm down, okay? I'm not mad," the older woman soothed. "Well, I suppose I was at first when I walked in the door and realized the children were still awake, but I am most certainly not angry with you now." She saw Jane visibly relax at these words.

"Oh."

"Would you like to know why?" Maura asked quietly, reaching forward slightly and patting the bar stool next to her.

The young woman swallowed hard and shrugged, sliding into the seat beside her, facing Maura, but avoiding her gaze.

"Please look at me," the honey blonde instructed softly.

When Jane did so, worry etched into her features, Maura reached forward and took the younger woman's hands between her own. "I cannot tell you the last time I remember either of my children giggling so much as I did tonight while I listened to you growl at them about the 'pajama monster' and it just," Maura paused and took a deep breath, looking down briefly before raising her eyes again, "thank you."

Jane bit her lip, and then slowly released it as her mouth curved into a smile and she blushed, looking away.

"I know technically you're not yet 'of age,' but considering I am of a very European mindset," the older woman said quietly, "would you like to try a glass of this wine? You deserve to relax for a bit, I'm sure."

"S-sure," Jane stuttered. "Why not?"

"Wonderful, I'll pour you a glass, and we can just have a little bit of girl time. What do you say?"

Jane grinned.

* * *

The first mini girls' night went so well, Maura thought, that a couple of nights later, she brought up the idea again to Jane, and the younger woman made dead sure that the children were in bed on time.

Jane had enjoyed herself immensely that first night and had found herself thinking back to their conversation many times over the next couple of days. She hadn't always enjoyed having many girl friends in high school, even though she had in middle school, so being able to have normal conversations with another woman, albeit an older one, was very reassuring to her for some reason.

The honey blonde doctor had touched her hand or arm several times throughout their conversation that first evening, and each time brought the same tingling in her spine she'd felt when Maura had first touched her the day she arrived. The feeling itself had seemed to whet her appetite for it, so when Doctor Isles suggested getting together again, she readily accepted the invitation.

The second wine and girls' night, the two talked a lot about Jane - her childhood, what she wanted to study in college, what she wanted to do as a potential career. Maura laughed so hard at some of the younger woman's ridiculous family stories that she almost started crying. She advised where she could when it came to colleges and career. But mostly, Maura just listened to whatever Jane had to say, and for once, Jane felt completely understood and respected.

As it finally neared midnight, the older woman hurried them both to bed, still hoping to get a solid seven hours of sleep before the children woke up to begin yet another busy day.

Neither one slept very well that night, however, as each laid quietly in bed, letting the effects of their conversation and interactions soak deep inside.

By the time she had fallen asleep, Jane had convinced herself she needed to ignore whatever she had started to feel around the honey blonde doctor.

Maura, alternatively, had started to formulate a plan for exactly what to do about her newfound dilemma with Jane.

* * *

A few mornings later when the doctor was home from the hospital, Jane went on an early morning jog. It was about an hour before the children normally woke up, and considering the doctor was home, she didn't think it would be that big of a deal.

It had been several weeks since she'd been running, since she didn't have too much time while taking care of the children, but after three and a half miles, she decided it was enough and she shouldn't overdo it.

Stumbling into the kitchen, slightly out of breath, Jane tore open the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of water. As she turned around, she kicked the door closed with her foot and stepped toward the kitchen island, placing her right hand gently on it to steady herself as she threw her head back, guzzling the much-needed water with closed eyes.

The young brunette nearly choked on her water as she felt a warm hand touch her cool, clammy lower back and then a mass of honey blonde curls come around the side of her, reaching for a banana from the fruit bowl in the middle of the island.

"I'm sorry," Maura said quietly, turning her head to glance at the young woman. "I didn't mean to startle you. I thought you heard me when I said good morning just now."

Jane coughed a little to try and clear her throat some more, and shook her head no.

"Did you go running?"

Setting the water bottle down on the island counter, Jane replied hesitantly, "Yeah? I hope that's okay. I just kinda figured since it was before the kids normally get up and you were home that you wouldn't mind?"

"Oh, it's perfectly fine, Jane," Maura replied brightly. "Anytime I'm home, you don't necessarily have to spend your time with us, or me. Just let me know if you go anywhere, so I don't have to worry." Realizing she still had her hand on the young woman's lower back, she swallowed and tried to remove it as quickly as possible without jerking it away awkwardly.

"Okay, cool."

"Do you run often?"

"A couple times a week usually. I haven't been running since I got here though and my body was craving it."

"Please feel free to do so on days like this when I'm home. You deserve some 'me time,' dear."

The brunette face broke into a smile and she thanked the older woman.

"I must say though, you have a spectacular body. The muscles in your midsection," Maura reached forward again as she spoke and lightly trailed her fingers down Jane's sleek back, from the bottom of her black sports bra to the top of Jane's matching running shorts, "are very defined. It very much suits your skeletal frame."

Jane felt herself twitch involuntarily at the touch of Maura's fingers on her bare skin and suddenly her body erupted into goosebumps as a shiver coursed through her. "I," she stuttered, "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"Okay," the doctor replied softly. "Would you like some breakfast? I feel like cooking this morning."

"Sure, sure," the young woman replied shakily. "Whatever you make is fine. I'll, uh, be back in a few, I guess."

As Jane walked away, Maura smirked to herself and began gathering all the necessary ingredients to make a nice breakfast for herself, the children, and Jane. For some reason, Jane's response thrilled her and she looked forward to more tactical interactions with the innocent young lady.

The young brunette headed to her room, shaken by her host's unnerving, soft touch, and once entering her room, she closed the door behind her, locking it quickly. The light brush of the beautiful blonde's fingers along her spine caused a familiar, but still relatively new for her, warm throbbing between her legs. She had only ever felt it before on a handful of occasions, but never with a woman, and especially not one so beautiful and mature. The thought that she could very well be developing an attraction for Doctor Maura Isles absolutely terrified her and for the moment, she was at a complete loss as to what to do about it.

* * *

What say you, lovely readers? :)

Edit: To the Guest who left this oh so fabulous review last night...  
**"Great, another fic where an older person sets out to seduce a minor! I'm a huge fan of these kinds of stories, especially when there's the chance that even younger children might observe things they shouldn't. And Maura is delightfully creepy, well done! (You should probably consider seeking therapy if you think this kind of behavior is acceptable or normal.)"**

1) Are you sure you can read? Do you need an eye exam? Jane's almost 20. I dunno where you come from, but in the United States of America, Jane's a legal adult as of age 18. If this were a fic with an older man and a younger woman, would you say the same thing? Age differences between women are not as noticeable, and if you think otherwise, you clearly don't know much about the dynamics of female relationships. Before you start flaming me, or anyone else who writes not-so-vanilla fics, perhaps you should consider 1) this is fanfic, so I can write whatever the hell I want about fictional characters, seeing as that's the whole point, 2) getting your facts straight, because there's nothing illegal going on here, 3) why the hell would Jane and Maura do anything in front of the children? How is a lesbian sexual relationship different than heterosexual in regards to children being around? Do you think lesbians have sex in front of actual minors? Whatever. And 4) you're an asshat, obviously. I eat little gray-faced shits like you for breakfast. NOMNOM.


	3. Chapter 3

I continue to be completely blown away by all of the reviews, follows, and favorites. It really has been encouraging. I must admit, this chapter has been slightly revised from how I originally wrote it and I'm actually pleased with the changes, which can be rare for a writer.

I hope you enjoy. Please take a minute to let me know what you think! :)

* * *

As the days moved forward, Maura found herself desiring more and more to find some sort of an excuse to touch the beautiful, young caretaker. Light caresses on the arm as she walked by, tucking the ever errant strands of hair back behind Jane's left ear, placing her hand on the brunette's knee as they engaged in conversation and sipped wine...

Initially Jane appeared to be, well, not uncomfortable exactly, Maura noted, but certainly affected by the contact, but as the touches became more frequent, the young woman's responses became more receptive.

While Jane hardly ever reciprocated the doctor's attention, she certainly gave no indication that she wanted the older woman to stop. She noticed that she began to crave Maura's presence and almost flirting, in fact, and while she wanted so desperately to act on her attraction, she reminded herself that Maura was 16 years older and married. The most important part was that she was married. Married. Married. Married _with_ children.

And so even though she didn't stop the honey blonde's gentle affections, she quickly realized that she couldn't if she tried.

But what Jane couldn't figure out was why Maura didn't stop either.

* * *

Roughly a week after Jane went jogging the first time, she put Ethan and Samantha down for a nap, having had a busy morning at the children's science museum, and made her way into to her room. She flopped onto the comfy bed and laid there for several minutes, just thinking about everything...college, Doctor Isles, the children, her family, Doctor Isles, maybe having a nap too, Doctor Isles…

Suddenly the young woman heard a soft sound coming from the bathroom, almost like splashing and she jerked her body forward into a sitting position, alarmed. "Hello?" she called out nervously. "Doctor Isles, is that you?" Standing up, she slowly stepped forward toward the open door and peeked into the bathroom. She gasped and spun around on her heels when she saw a mass of pinned up honey blonde curls bobbing along to music, hurrying quickly back into her room.

"Jane?" the older woman called out to her. "You can come in if you'd like, I don't mind."

Jane peeked her head around the door frame. "Hi, um, didn't mean to disturb you. I just didn't know you were home since I didn't see your car...so obviously I didn't expect you to be using my bathroom."

Maura pulled the earbuds from her ears and dropped them to rest on her iPod. "I actually took a taxi home because I was exhausted and I didn't feel it would be safe to drive myself. But I hope it's okay I'm in here? I've had a particularly rough two days and really needed a good, hot soak."

"Oh, why didn't you call me? We could've come and picked you up."

"I didn't want to be an inconvenience to you and the children. It's fine."

"It would've been easy, Doctor Isles," the young brunette insisted.

"No matter. I'll call next time then?" Maura replied, hopeful, before asking, "Are you okay with me using this tub while you're here?" She looked sheepishly to Jane for permission with her eyes.

"It's your house, so you can technically do whatever you want, right?" Jane smirked.

"Well yes, but you are my guest, and this is your space right now. Are you upset with me?"

"Technically I'm your employee, not your guest," Jane replied, shrugging with a smile. "But no, I'm not upset. You just surprised me is all."

"You're a _guest_, Jane," Maura replied with finality. "The children are down for a nap, I presume?"

"Yep. Exhausted from the children's museum." She stepped back fully into the middle of the doorway.

"Oh, wonderful. They love it there," Maura replied, beaming. "Why don't you come sit and chat with me? I just slipped in."

Jane bit her lip, her brow furrowing. "I'm not sure that's...uh...maybe I'll just go lie down for a bit." She jutted her thumb back toward her bed.

"Oh, okay. Are you uncomfortable because I'm naked? I'm pretty covered up with bubbles right now, so you wouldn't see much."

"I just," Jane paused, reaching up to scratch her forehead gently. "Wouldn't that be weird to you?"

"Would it be weird to _you_?" the older woman countered.

"I asked you first," Jane shot back, smirking.

Leaning her head back against the tub and closing her eyes, Maura quietly responded, "Jane, I'm a doctor. Nudity doesn't bother me. On top of that fact, I'm a mother of two small children, so I now have very little privacy sometimes. Do you think I would mention it if I had a problem with it?" She cracked open an eye and glanced at the younger woman, who was still standing in the doorway, now blushing furiously.

The woman sensed Jane's hesitation, however, not only to say no, but also to say yes. To find the happy medium, she suggested, "How about you lie there on the floor where you are, still here in the bathroom, and we talk? I would really like the pleasant company."

"I, uh," Jane stumbled, "I could do that. Yeah." Quietly she turned around and lowered herself to the floor, her feet in the doorway, so that in order to look at Maura, she'd have to tilt her head all the way back, almost lifting herself off the bathroom tiles, to see the older woman soaking in the tub.

"Tell me about the visit to the museum today," Maura requested quietly.

Jane talked animatedly for the next thirty minutes or so, while Maura responded or interjected as necessary.

"Oh man," Jane laughed, "You shoulda seen Ethan in the bubble exhibit. I took some pictures and video to show you. You know the one exhibit thing where you can create a, like, column of bubble around you? He let out the funniest squeal when the thing popped on him." Jane tilted her head back, grinning, to look at the older woman in the tub.

By that point Maura was twisted around in the tub slightly, facing Jane, while leaning on the rim of the tub, her arms overlapped with her chin resting on top of her hands. Hearing Jane talk about her children the way she was, the doctor was mesmerized. When Jane tilted her head back to look at her, the way the young woman's long, thick, dark curls were fanned out on the tiled floor, Maura's stomach twisted in knots. Jane was so beautiful, and charming, and already obviously loved her children. How would she ever be able to fight off the feelings that were now creeping into her heart? It seemed an insurmountable task.

"I wish I could have been there with you, Jane," the doctor replied softly.

The young brunette's stomach fluttered at the thought. "Me too," she agreed.

And the conversation then continued about more of the children's reactions to the exhibits.

By that time, the water in the tub was more than cool, and the older woman was starting to shiver, but listening to Jane speak was oddly soothing and it made her incredibly reluctant to leave the little bubble that formed every time she and Jane were alone together.

"Jane?" Maura finally interrupted. "Could you maybe hand me a towel? I just realized I forgot to bring one with me in here, and I'm ready to get out of the bath, as the water has turned quite cool."

The young brunette bit her lip gently as she realized that handing Doctor Isles a towel would require approaching much closer, and thus increase the chances of seeing some part(s) of her naked body, because she knew the bubbles would have dissolved. "Yeah, of course," she finally responded before raising herself off the floor and opening the linen closet to grab a clean towel.

As she stepped tentatively closer, her arm outstretched with the towel in hand, Jane realized that by the time Maura would be able to actually reach the towel, she'd be able to see most of the honey blonde's nude body. She bit her lip and averted her gaze, waiting for the woman to grab the towel.

"You are terribly shy, Jane," Maura mused as she sat up straighter in the tub and reached for the soft piece of cloth. She sank her fingers into the material, gripping slowly to give her a moment or two to observe Jane's flushed face. When Jane realized the older woman had a good hold on the towel, she spun around and hurried out of the room.

* * *

Later that same night, after Maura had put the children to bed, she knocked softly on Jane's bedroom door, which was slightly ajar. A low voice on the other side responded, "Come in." Pushing the door open slowly, Maura stepped inside the room, closing the door, so as not to potentially disturb the children.

Jane watched wordlessly as the older woman quietly made her way to the side of the bed next to Jane and perched herself on the edge, her left thigh fully on the bed with the her right foot still on the floor.

"Jane," Maura said softly, wringing her hands in her lap nervously and looking down at them, "I wanted to apologize earlier for my...behavior. I clearly made you uncomfortable by asking you to stay with me and talk in the bathroom, at least at first, and then especially made you even more so when I asked you to hand me a towel."

"Doctor Isles-"

"Please, Jane, I think you can call me Maura at this point," the doctor gently corrected.

"Maura," the brunette repeated, testing the name on her lips.

Closing her eyes, Maura sighed contentedly and looked down again.

Jane's brow furrowed briefly before it dawned on her. "You don't hear that very often, do you?"

Maura swallowed hard and shook her head, eyes still closed, and though Jane didn't know it yet, trying to fight away the tears.

"At the hospital, all you hear is Doctor Isles, and around here, you only hear Mama. Nobody ever takes the time to see you as a woman, as Maura," Jane observed quietly.

Nodding once, Maura couldn't help but sniffle while she tried not to burst into tears, and immediately Jane shot forward, gently placing her hand on Maura's forearm. "Maura, hey, what's wrong?"

Suddenly Maura stood up, smoothing out her skirt, and turned to leave. "It's nothing of importance, really. I," she hesitated, "I really just wanted to tell you that I was sorry."

The young brunette was off the bed immediately, grabbing Maura's wrist gently to keep her from leaving. "No, something's wrong. Tell me."

Still not turning back to face Jane, Maura replied, "I don't even know. I have just felt this horrible ache, figuratively, of course, inside of me recently, and I've been having a great deal of difficulty coping with it."

"Well has anything worked so far?" Jane asked quietly.

The honey blonde bit her lip, even though Jane couldn't see it, and then neutralizing her expression, she turned to face Jane, lifting her eyes slowly to meet the young woman's. She took a deep breath and the corner of her mouth lifted upward in a hesitant smile. "You," she replied simply.

"Me?" Jane asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion.

"Your," Maura began, "companionship, I suppose. The ache I feel inside seems to abate significantly when we spend time together."

Jane swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, which didn't go unnoticed by the older woman, and Maura casted her eyes downward, suddenly embarrassed at her own admission.

"I like spending time with you, too," the young brunette replied quietly. "I've never had a f-friend like you."

"You are a wonderful friend, Jane," Maura said affectionately, stepping forward and grabbing both of Jane's hands, holding them in between their two bodies. "And I desperately hope that after this summer is over, you'll still remain so."

"I'd like that," Jane agreed softly, squeezing the older woman's hands briefly.

"Wonderful," the doctor replied, squeezing Jane's hands in return. Then she pulled back, saying, "I believe I'll retire to my room now and read a bit," before turning again toward the door. Looking back over her shoulder, she added, "Thank you, Jane."

"For what?"

The honey blonde woman hesitated before shooting Jane a smile that warmed something in the young woman's chest. "For being you."

* * *

Thank you for reading, from the bottom of my heart. I cannot tell you how much it means to me!


	4. Chapter 4

I seriously am just so incredibly in awe. You lovely readers are majestic. I cannot thank you enough for everything! Recently I've tried responding to every review, but I just haven't had time to the past few days. But I read and cherish them all, I swear! (Yes, even the negative ones, 'cause sometimes they make me laugh and want to write more.)

Hold onto your seats, ladies (and gents?)...it's, uh, gonna get a bit steamy in here.

* * *

That night Jane dreamed of Doctor Maura Isles, and when she startled awake in the middle of the night, her heart felt heavy while her stomach clenched tight. She closed her eyes again and the dream flashed vividly in her mind.

_The water was hot, but soothingly so, and the lavender fragrance released by the thick layer of bubbles in the tub relaxed her immensely. _

_Sighing, Jane sunk slightly deeper into the tub, the water rising to her chin, and closed her eyes. _

_Suddenly the brunette felt soft hands on her shoulders, fingers quickly flattening and slipping down lower on her chest to cup her firm, small breasts. A soft, feminine voice then whispered, "You are so beautiful, Jane." Fingers pinched already hardened nipples. "From the moment I met you, I've felt such an intense connection. It didn't take me long for me to realize how attracted I am to you." _

_Jane's eyes rolled back in her head, her breasts pressing forward, reveling in the older woman's teasings. _

"_I want to take you, Jane. I want to touch your soft, young body, and ruin you for anyone else. I want to make you mine." _

_As the honey blonde's fingers pinched taut, dark nipples harder, Jane whimpered softly. _

"_Has anyone ever touched you like this?" the older woman purred._

"_N-not exactly like this, no," Jane replied softly. "But...are you sure we should be doing this?"_

"_Oh yes, we should. Don't worry about anything else right now except how I make you feel, okay?"_

_Then, as suddenly as the older woman's hands had appeared, they were gone. Surprised, Jane sat up straighter in the tub and glanced back over her shoulder to see Maura quickly pulling off her blue spandex shirt and simple, black pants, revealing no bra and a black thong underneath them. _

_Slipping off the scrap of black fabric, Maura softly instructed, "Scoot forward," and as Jane turned around again to do so, the older woman stepped into the tub, gripping the sides of the porcelain basin as she lowered herself slowly into the hot, sudsy water. Her feet slipped past Jane's hips, along Jane's legs, and she reached forward to pull Jane back against her body, leaning them both back to rest against the high back of the tub. _

_Maura slipped her arms around the young woman's waist and then quickly up to palm the pert breasts again. Then oh so slowly, Maura slid her hand down Jane's taut stomach and finally slipped her fingers through thick curls between the young woman's legs. As the tips of her fingers grazed the top of Jane's clit, Jane gasped, her hips bucking slightly. _

"_Do you want me to make you feel good, Jane?" the honey blonde whispered low in Jane's ear, her voice dripping with the desire to make the younger woman come undone. "I have so much I could teach you."_

_Jane rested her head against Maura's left shoulder, bending her knees and placing her feet flat on the bottom of the tub. She spread open her knees and rested them against the sides of the white porcelain. _

"_Tell me," Maura purred. _

"_Please," the brunette begged. "Please just, ah!"_

_Fingertips played softly against sensitive flesh, circling, sliding. _

_It was nothing like Jane had ever felt before, including the times that she touched her own body. At 19, almost 20, Jane was certainly no virgin, but the feelings that Maura was causing in her body were definitely new and almost overwhelmingly exciting. _

_Softly Maura kneaded Jane's breast with her left hand as she swirled the tip of her middle finger over Jane's sensitive nub. She then dipped her finger down, parting swollen lips, feeling the distinct difference between the young brunette's arousal and the water. Circling her opening, Maura slipped a single digit inside, Jane clenching around the finger briefly before relaxing again. "Mmm," Maura hummed. "You are so tight." She curled the finger, pressing against Jane's G-spot repeatedly._

"_Unghh!" the young brunette grunted out, her hands gripping Maura's knees, fingernails sinking in. _

_Slowly the doctor slid her finger out and pressed two fingers to Jane's opening, causing the brunette to tense her body. "Relax, dear," Maura soothed. _

"_It's just," Jane whimpered, "it's been a while since the last time and I'm-"_

"_Relax your body," Maura whispered, sliding her fingers back to the young woman's clit. "Trust me to take care of you, okay?" _

_For a few more minutes Maura teased Jane, clearly intent on making her arousal almost unbearable, and when Jane finally begged for more, the doctor slipped her middle and ring fingers back down, again circling Jane's opening. Slowly she pushed them inside, feeling Jane stretch enough to accommodate the welcomed intrusion. When her fingers were knuckles deep, she curled the tips and Jane's walls clamped shut around her fingers so tightly she could barely move them. _

"_Oh god," Jane moaned. _

"_Is that good, Jane?" Maura teased, her voice silky. _

"_Mmfff."_

_Then Maura whispered, breath hot against her ear, "Touch yourself."_

Jane opened her eyes, realizing that her left hand was now between her thighs, touching herself through her panties. She could feel the wetness seeping through the thin, cotton material, and she felt more turned on than she'd ever been before. Slowly she began to massage her clit through the fabric, throwing her head back into the pillow, swallowing a moan. After a minute or so, she finally slipped her hand underneath the fabric, touching herself directly. Wetness instantly coated her fingertips.

She closed her eyes and tried to continue the dream herself, and though something tugged inside her chest at using her own employer-turned-friend as the subject of her fantasy dream, she was powerless to stop her body's need. Around and around she circled her clit until she felt the familiar tight clench in her lower belly, and she continued until her body finally succumbed to the pleasure bursting inside of her, bucking against her own hand until she could take no more.

Wiping her fingers on the inside of her underwear, Jane pulled her hand out from under and sighed as the guilt of her action began to wash over her. Despite the pleasurable release that normally relaxed her, sleep did not easily return.

* * *

The next evening at dinner, an evening that Maura still had off before she had to return to the hospital the following morning, when she, Jane, and the children were sitting around the table, Maura noticed that Jane was very quiet. She had been all day, in fact, and anytime Maura made eye contact, the young brunette blushed and quickly averted her eyes. Maura said nothing in front of the children, but fully planned on confronting Jane later.

"Mama?" Ethan asked toward the end of the meal.

"Yes, my love?"

"May we watch a movie after dinner?" His eyes were bright, pleading.

"What would you like to watch, Ethan?" the honey blonde asked softly.

"Da 'Credibles!" Samantha shouted happily.

Maura smiled and enunciated, "_**The I**__**n**_credibles, Samantha."

The strawberry blonde girl shot her mother a toothy grin. "Yeah, Da 'Credibles!"

Sighing at Samantha's lack of attempt to repeat the correction, Maura replied, "Sure, but only if you eat everything on your plate. Both of you."

Happily Samantha and Ethan scarfed down everything on their plates, and after doing so, the little girl begged, "Mama, may we be 'scused?"

"Yes, love. Why don't you two go into the den and set everything up on the TV?" Maura suggested. "Jane and I will clear the table."

"By ourselves?" Ethan asked, wide-eyed.

"I trust you, darling. Sometimes you're better with technology than even Mama," the older woman reassured with a smile.

Both grinning widely, the three and five year olds slipped off their chairs and scampered off to the den to find the DVD.

The entire exchange with the children, Jane was sitting there looking at her plate, moving food around it, occasionally taking a bite. She swallowed hard as the children's footsteps could no longer be heard, knowing that Maura was about to start talking.

"You've barely spoken to me all day, Jane," Maura finally said, breaking the silence, "and you've looked at me even less."

Jane still remained silent, pushing steamed green beans around her plate.

Hurt seeped into the older woman's voice. "I thought we'd cleared everything up last night. What's happened since then?"

Slowly the young brunette raised her eyes to meet Maura's. "I'm just not feeling well is all."

"I don't believe you. Every time you've looked at me today, you've looked embarrassed," the older woman observed, "and perhaps even a little guilty. Please tell me what I did to upset you."

Jane swallowed the lump in her throat and felt her face flush hot. Again she looked down quickly at her plate. She then heard the gentle scraping of chair legs across the floor and Maura's soft footsteps approach her.

"Jane," the doctor said softly.

"I think I'm going to go lie down." Jane lifted her face up toward the honey blonde woman, eyes softly pleading to not push the issue. "Just tell the children I'm not feeling well, okay? Please?" She stood swiftly, grabbing her plate and glass in the process, and turned toward the kitchen. She heard Maura quickly gathering the remaining dinnerware, hot on her heels.

"Please talk to me," Maura pleaded, setting the three plates in her hand on top of Jane's by the kitchen sink. When she gently placed her hand on the small of Jane's back, the young brunette jumped away like she'd been burned. Hurt flashed across the older woman's features, and she felt the familiar lump in her throat signaling the start of tears. Blinking her eyes quickly, she whispered, "Jane? Please tell me what's wrong."

Her back still toward the honey blonde doctor, Jane clenched her hands into fists at her sides before her shoulders finally slumped in defeat. "I had a dream," she whispered.

"About me?" Maura replied quietly back.

"About us. _Together_."

Quietly Maura stepped behind the young woman again, gently placing her hand on Jane's right bicep. The brunette didn't react physically this time. "It was just a dream, Jane."

"Not to me."

"So you're just going to ignore me now? Pretend I barely exist, because of a dream you had of us together?"

"You're _**married**_, Maura," Jane argued, turning around to finally face her friend. "I can't think that way about you!"

"You can't control your thoughts, your feelings, or really even your dreams, and trying to do so can actually be unhealthy for you. Did you know that?"

"Well I have to, okay? Because if I don't, I might go insane. I just...dammit, Maura. I can't handle this." The brunette then turned on her heel and marched out of the kitchen.

"Jane, wait," Maura pleaded. "Please!"

The young woman kept walking, however, and Maura slumped against the kitchen island, willing herself not to cry.

* * *

If it feels like this story is moving quickly, please know that there actually IS method to my madness this time around.  
Reviews make me smile so much, my dear readers. :)


	5. Chapter 5

I was so very hesitant to post this chapter based on the mixed reviews **(edit after posting: mostly positive, but some urging one direction, and others urging another)**. All that I ask is you please be patient, as more aspects are revealed in time. Life is complex and does not always happen the way we plan.

Side note: if you celebrate Christmas, a very Merry (Rizzles) Christmas to you and yours!

* * *

"Mama?" Jane heard Samantha's voice floating softly from her bedroom.

The young brunette was reading in her room, propped up on her bed while the bedroom door was opened just enough for the voices to float through.

"Yes, my love?"

"Why didn't da jamma monster come tonight?"

Quietly Jane slid out of her bed and tiptoed over to behind her bedroom door, curious to hear more of this conversation.

"Well the pajama monster did come. You have on your pajamas, don't you?"

"Yeah, but when Jay puts us to bed, da jamma monster growls and tickles us until we hafta put on jammas," Samantha explained. "I like da jamma monster!"

"Well I guess the pajama monster will have to come when I put you to bed, hmm?"

Jane smiled to herself as she heard Samantha's next words.

"Pwetty pease? That would be wondaful!"

"Okay, darling," Jane heard Maura reply. "Now it's time to sleep."

"Night night, Mama. Don't let the bedbugs bite, k?"

"Bed bugs?" Maura's voice was clearly alarmed and Jane stifled a laugh.

"That's what Jay says before bed every night. She says it's a' spression."

"An expression?"

"Yeah, like people say. I guess it's kinda funny, 'cept I don't like bugs. Ethan does 'cause he's a boy. I told Jay and she told me I could like bugs too, but I think bugs are yucky."

"It's true, honey. You could like bugs if you wanted."

"No, thank you. I like puppies."

Maura's laughter rang out loudly. It made Jane's stomach flutter and her heart race.

"Maybe when you're old enough, we'll get a puppy. Would you like that?"

The eavesdropping brunette didn't hear the little girl say anything, so she could only assume that Samantha had nodded her head enthusiastically.

"Okay, one day, then. Now it really is time to sleep, my love."

"Night, Mama."

Jane stepped as quietly away from her door as possible and slipped back into bed, wheels turning quickly in her head.

* * *

About 45 minutes after Maura put the children to bed, Jane stood outside the doctor's bedroom door, trying to gather the courage to knock.

On the other side, Maura said just loudly enough for Jane to hear, "I can see your shadow underneath the door, Jane."

The younger woman sighed and slowly turned the bedroom doorknob, opening the door. "Are you busy?" she asked, sticking her head in tentatively.

"Just reading," the honey blonde replied, propped up on the left side of her king size bed against the headboard. Placing a bookmark between the pages and then closing the book, she took off her reading glasses and set them gently on the nightstand. "Would you like to talk?"

Jane shrugged, briefly turning to close the bedroom door behind her, before slowly turning to face Maura again. She clasped her hands awkwardly in front of her, unsure what to do or say.

"Come here," Maura instructed quietly.

As Jane moved closer, the older woman threw the covers back on the bed and slipped out of it to stand next to it. She was wearing a light purple silk negligee. Nothing too revealing, but still feminine and sexy.

Jane felt awkward in only a plain t-shirt and basketball shorts.

When Jane was within arm's reach, Maura grabbed her hands and pulled her in closer, wrapping her arms loosely around the younger woman's waist. Because Jane had a couple of inches height on Maura, the older woman was forced to look up slightly into dark, suddenly fearful eyes.

The brunette, to Maura, looked ready to run, likely terrified of their current intimate embrace.

"How do you do it, Jane?"

Jane's brow furrowed. "Do what?"

"Because of you, I'm experiencing completely different sides of my children I didn't even know existed."

Finally the young woman relaxed and she gently placed her hands on Maura's hips. Her skin through the silky material almost felt hot. "They're normal kids, you know. Well better than normal, because they're both really smart and have pretty good manners. But they're just kids who like to have fun, like all other kids in the world."

"But you're giving them experiences and knowledge that I would never have known to give. My parents were pretty distant and busy with their own lives."

"Then who took care of you?"

"Up until a certain age, I had a nanny who was very strict, and we had a cook, so she made all of my meals, of course. Then when I went off to boarding school in France, everything was already taken care of there, of course."

"You went to boarding school? In France?" Jane asked, wide-eyed.

Maura dipped her head, blushing. "I sent off for the brochure myself, actually."

"Interesting," the young woman replied, squinting her eyes slightly.

Maura's brows knitted together. "What does that look mean?"

"It just explains a lot about you. Why you're so, I dunno," Jane replied hesitantly. "Independent. And sophisticated, I guess? You're just kind of fancy to me."

"Does it bother you?" the honey blonde asked, immediately concerned.

"Nah, but it can be intimidating at times, just how brilliant and beautiful you are." Suddenly Jane blushed at her own admission.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

The brunette's blush deepened and she glanced down, clearing her throat, but remaining silent.

Maura was suddenly curious to hear more about Jane's feelings and thoughts toward her. "What else do you like about me, Jane?" She pulled Jane in even closer with her arms around the brunette's waist.

Jane bit her bottom lip, refusing to meet the older woman's eyes. "Maura," she finally pulled away gently, "you _**know**_ we can't do this. You have a husband. You have two children. Throwing myself into the mix of all that...I can't _**do**_ that."

"What exactly do you think we're doing, Jane?" the blonde doctor replied, raising her eyebrows.

"Maura, come on! You _**know **_something is happening between us. I _**know **_you feel it! You touch me, a-and you get close to me! The way you look at me sometimes, I just..."

"You just _what_?"

"It's hard not to cross the line. I may only be 19, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid, okay? I understand what is happening, and to be honest, I'm terrified."

"I'm scared, too, actually," Maura whispered, stepping closer again to Jane and looping her arms around the younger woman's waist like before. "I didn't realize how lonely I was until I began spending time with you, and I don't want to return to how I felt before. I want this, I want _**you**_."

Jane sighed and looked down.

"He doesn't touch me anymore," Maura confessed in a whisper, tears springing to her eyes. "My husband, I mean. He hasn't touched me intimately since I was pregnant with Samantha."

"Maura," Jane whispered sadly, looking back up to see that Maura was now avoiding her gaze.

"But before I say anything else, I have to confess something, okay? I feel that you have the right to know," Maura whispered, looking back up to search the young woman's eyes. "About a week ago, I started to consider offering you more money, to pay for school, of course."

"God, Maura, you're already-"

Quickly Maura put her right index finger up to Jane's lips to quieten her.

"But at the same time, I was planning to seduce you."

Jane's eyes widened in shock. Immediately her body froze, and then she tried to pull away. The honey blonde latched on tighter.

"Just listen. Please," Maura begged. "At first I had thought maybe you'd let me because you'd want the money, but when I began flirting with you, it didn't take me long to realize how unfair that would have been to both of us. Suddenly I realized I didn't want to coax you into my bed under the guise of giving you more money. I wanted to because I _**want**_ you," Maura explained softly, cupping Jane's jaw. "I want you so much that both my body and my heart ache for you. You make me feel something I haven't felt in a very long time."

"Maura, we can't _**do **_this," Jane whispered, tears springing to her eyes.

"But I need you, Jane," the older woman pleaded softly, her voice trembling. "I need you to take me and put me back together again."

The torment was written plainly on Jane's face, her brow furrowed. "And what am I supposed to do at the end of the summer when I have to leave and suddenly_** I'm**_ the one who needs to be put back together again?"

"I don't know," Maura replied honestly, tears welled up in her hazel eyes. "But we'll figure it out, okay? We'll figure it out," she repeated, looking up into dark, loving eyes.

Hesitantly Jane placed her hands on the older woman's hips, pulling their bodies flush together. Jane lowered her forehead to Maura's and they both closed their eyes. "I told myself I wouldn't let this happen," the brunette whispered. "But now I'm not sure I could have stopped this if I'd tried."

Jutting her chin slightly forward, their foreheads separating, Maura opened her eyes briefly before placing her lips within millimeters of the young woman's. For several seconds the two simply stood there, hesitating, lips almost pressed together and breathing softly, before Maura finally closed the minute distance.

Their first kiss was brief but heated, and Maura pulled back only briefly to assess Jane's level of comfort. Sucking in a breath, she crashed her lips against Jane's without mercy this time, while simultaneously trying to fight back a sob bubbling up from deep inside.

Without breaking their kiss, Jane pushed the honey blonde back against the edge of the bed, her left thigh coming to rest between Maura's.

Maura pulled frantically at Jane's shirt, lifting it up over her small waist, firm breasts, and briefly breaking their kiss, finally up over her head, tossing it immediately to the side. Jane pushed down on her shorts and underwear in one fell swoop, letting them drop and quickly stepping out of them. Lifting her own nightgown over her hips, then breasts, and finally her head, Maura discarded it immediately and climbed backwards onto the bed.

Immediately Jane hooked her thumbs into the sides of the doctor's silk panties, which were decidedly damp from Maura's arousal, and jerked them down toned, smooth legs. She climbed onto the bed with Maura, sliding her left thigh back between Maura's, and balancing herself on her arms above Maura's body. The brunette immediately thrusted her thigh upwards against Maura's center, and Maura's head slammed back into the mattress, broken whimpers escaping from between her lips.

"Fair warning," Jane mumbled against the blonde's lips. "I'm not really sure I know what I'm doing."

"Just touch me," Maura sobbed, "god, Jane, just touch me." She grabbed Jane's left hand and slipped it between her legs, underneath Jane's own thigh that was pressing against her.

Jane's fingers instantly met slick, warm flesh, zoning in quickly on Maura's swollen clit. The honey blonde trembled beneath her and tangled her right hand fingers in Jane's wild curls, pulling their mouths together.

"Oh god," Maura sobbed against her lover's lips. She grinded her hips against Jane's hand and thigh. "More, more," she begged.

"More what? I don't-"

Maura dropped her left hand from Jane's hip, where nails had been digging into taut flesh, and slid it between their bodies, grabbing the young woman's hand and guiding two of her long, slim fingers inside. "Now thrust into me," Maura instructed softly.

The older woman's eyes began to roll back in her head as Jane started thrusting those fingers in and out slowly, the heel of her palm pressing against Maura's clit every time. Maura shifted her left leg so that Jane would be fully in between her thighs, and then wrapped her legs around the back of the young brunette's upper thighs, clinging to her body.

Amongst the moans and grunts and thrusts, Jane shifted slightly further down, kneeling between the older woman's legs, trying to give herself better stability to thrust.

Maura, however, interpreted it as a sign to prop herself up on her hands with elbows locked. She rocked her hips into the young brunette's thrusts, causing her full breasts, nipples tightened, to bounce with each one.

Dark, dilated eyes dropped from the older woman's face and came to rest on the fleshy globes moving enticingly before her. Quickly Jane dipped her head and took a tightened nipple between her lips, sucking gently.

The action caused a strangled cry to escape from Maura's parted, swollen lips, encouraging Jane to continue. "So good," the honey blonde doctor panted as she continued grinding her hips into Jane. "God. You are so good at this."

Smiling against Maura's breast, Jane released the tightened bud with a pop and moved her head to the left to flick her tongue over Maura's other nipple.

When Jane began to feel the burn in her forearm, she slowed her thrusting, trying to ease the pain.

"No no no!" Maura cried out in anguish. "So close." She began thrusting her hips harder against Jane's fingers.

"Maur, my arm, I can't-"

Desperation evident in her features, Maura shifted her body weight forward, causing the young brunette to fall onto her back, eyes widening. Immediately Jane stretched out her legs to make herself more comfortable and Maura shifted to straddle her hips. Miraculously, the young woman's fingers never slipped from Maura.

Suddenly the honey blonde braced herself over Jane's body, looking down at Jane, soft curls hanging around her face, and began to grind roughly against her fingers.

At that moment, Jane felt something burst inside her, feelings that she realized she'd never felt before for another human being, and she swallowed the words on the tip of her tongue. It wasn't the time or the place, she knew. Instead she lifted her head up off the bed, kissing the beautiful woman above her, redoubling her efforts to make Maura come unraveled. She tried slightly altering the angle of her hand so that Maura's clit would press against the heel of her palm again with each thrust and the change was apparently just what the older woman needed.

Crying out briefly, Maura's body suddenly stilled above her, eyes closed, mouth agape with desperate sobs escaping. Jane felt Maura's walls clench tight around her fingers, and she curled them gently, trying to add to the woman's pleasure.

Moments later, the honey blonde collapsed to her left side, her body trembling against the young brunette's as she suddenly burst into tears.

While not exactly prepared for the reaction, Jane wrapped the petite woman in her arms, holding her tightly, pressing light kisses to her forehead. "Shhh, I got you, Maur," she soothed. "Just let it all out, okay? I got you."

The older woman only clung tighter to Jane's thin frame and continued to sob in her lover's warm embrace.

* * *

Thoughts?  
Please be gentle, and, as I said before, patient.  
Regardless of whether or not you leave a review, however, I want to say thank you, as always, for your readership. It truly does mean the world to me.


	6. Chapter 6

Sometimes love happens in reverse. Things get complicated before both people figure out what they truly mean to each other.

But never fear, as this chapter is mostly good, sexy things. ;)

To the guest who asked about if this is the same story from my tumblr post - indeed it is, but as a full story here, I changed the plot slightly to be more realistic, and hopefully with a less predatory Maura. That ficlet was totally a joke, but many people requested more, and suddenly this entire plot line exploded inside my head, taking over my writing brain. I'm so please that people are enjoying this fic so much.

Disclaimer: I don't think I ever had one, but believe me, I don't own Maura, Jane, or any other characters on the show that might end up in this fic. If I did, you better believe I'd hire a showrunner with better continuity. Ahem. But I do own Samantha, Ethan, and any other original characters who come into creation.

* * *

Finally, the older woman's tears began to subside and eventually her breathing evened out.

It was the young brunette who first broke the thick silence, however. "You okay?" she whispered, brushing her lips against Maura's forehead.

"I think so," the honey blonde replied quietly, leaning her head back to observe her lover's dark eyes.

Jane's brow furrowed. "You _think _so?"

"I feel fine now," Maura explained, a small smile tugging at her lips. "Better, actually."

"Okay, but, um, I'm not really sure what just happened?" the young brunette stated hesitantly.

Maura immediately sat up, concern written in her soft features. She looked down at Jane, biting her lip. "Oh no."

"What?" Jane replied, wide-eyed.

"From everything you've told me about yourself, you seemed to be at least somewhat knowledgeable, if not already experienced with sex, and-"

"Huh?" the brunette interrupted, before realization sank in. "God no! I'm not a virgin! And I know enough about sex to know that I just made you, _you know_, pretty hard."

The older woman could see a hint of smugness among the brunette's expression, before it turned to concentration.

"But I'm not really sure I understand why you just...um...I guess, reacted like that?" Suddenly, Jane felt extremely insecure. She had no idea how to approach the whole situation, and while she actually had little desire to, something in her gut told her it was important.

Slowly Maura turned her body, swinging her left leg over Jane's lower body, bringing her knee down on the other side of Jane's hips to straddle her thighs. She leaned forward, bracing herself on the bed, on either side of Jane's arms, just hovering over the young brunette. She smirked as she leaned down close to Jane's face, her hardened nipples grazing the younger woman's body. "Three years is a long time, Jane," she replied softly, licking her lips. "A woman can only do so much by herself, even with the assistance of novelty items."

The young woman searched Maura's eyes, looking for any signs she could that would tell her what Maura was thinking or feeling. Gone were any signs of having reacted the way she had and instead in their place was a look of what Jane could only describe as complete lust, even though she'd certainly never been on the receiving end of one.

"Maura, you know at some point, we should tal-"

Immediately the honey blonde dipped her head and captured her lover's dark pink lips, effectively silencing her. "No talking right now," she mumbled against Jane's lips. "Later."

"M-"

Maura kissed Jane again, this time with more fervor, slipping her tongue between parted lips. "Just let me do this for you right now," she whispered, grinding her pelvis against the brunette.

Jane bit her lip and worried it between her teeth. For all her previous bravado touching Maura, she suddenly felt nervous and insecure about the older woman reciprocating.

Maura pulled back, lifting her upper body to observe Jane. "Jane, are you okay?" Her voice was tender, loving, but concerned.

"I'm nervous. It's," Jane hesitated, whispering, "it's like my first time all over again." She blushed and looked away.

The older woman sat up completely this time, cupping Jane's jaw in the process. "We don't have to. We could just lie here together."

"No, I want you to, if you want to. I'm, uh," Jane paused, still blushing and looking away again before meeting her lover's hazel eyes. "I'm _**really**_ turned on right now, especially because you're naked on top of me."

"Good. Because I _**want**_ to do this." She leaned back down, breasts brushing together, and murmured against the young brunette's left ear, "I want to make you orgasm with only my mouth, Jane."

Maura lifted herself up and slowly began to slide down Jane's slim body, placing kisses across her chest, quickly flicking her tongue over a hard, light brown nipple. The young brunette arched her chest against Maura's mouth and breathed out hard.

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, the older doctor moved down Jane's body, her honey blonde curls trailing above her. As she reached her young lover's navel, she dipped her tongue inside, causing Jane's stomach to quiver visibly. The closer Maura got to Jane's center, the more the younger woman trembled.

Suddenly Maura understood that while this wasn't Jane's first time having sex, it was her first time having someone perform cunnilingus, because otherwise, Maura reasoned, she'd have no reason to be so nervous. When she finally settled on her stomach with her head between the young brunette's thighs, she looked up to find Jane observing her quietly, worrying her lip again between beautiful, white teeth.

When Maura smiled up at her from between spread thighs, Jane licked her lips, anticipating the first swipe of Maura's tongue. Slowly the beautiful doctor lowered her head placed a gentle kiss below Jane's hip bone and the young woman struggled to not buck her hips against Maura's face. She repeated the action on the other side, causing Jane to tremble even more. Maura glanced up to find that Jane's eyes were closed, her brow furrowed in concentration, still biting her lip. She opened her mouth and slowly flicked the tip of her tongue over the brunette's waiting clit.

Jane's body tensed at the overwhelming sensations just that one movement caused before finally tilting her pelvis up subtly toward Maura's mouth. Suddenly the brunette felt hot wetness descend completely over her sex, with the older woman's tongue moving slowly up and down over her sensitive bud. "Oh god," Jane whimpered. "Feels so good. Why does it fee-ohhh!"

The older woman closed her lips around Jane's clit and sucked gently once, then twice, and a third time, causing Jane to finally buck her hips against Maura's mouth. Maura then slid her arms beneath Jane's spread thighs and placed her palms flat on Jane's hip bones, holding her down to the bed. Then she began to tease, tongue lightly flicking over her clit, drawing circles around it. She sucked Jane's engorged folds between her lips, running her tongue over them gently. Maura heard the young brunette's breathing become heavier, closer to panting, and brought her lingual ministrations back to Jane's swollen clit.

As Maura began to move her tongue faster over the bundle of nerves, she both felt and heard Jane's hands slap against the bed and she opened her eyes briefly to see the young woman clutching desperately at the duvet-encased goose down comforter. Jane was panting heavily, rocking her hips against Maura's mouth.

"Mau-oh god. Oh god, Maura," the young brunette mumbled.

Quickly Maura doubled her efforts, flicking her tongue ever faster against the young woman quickly coming undone. The wet sounds her mouth was making while pleasing her lover stirred something inside Maura, something she hadn't felt since her last time with a woman, during medical school. It was a desire to possess this young woman, to make her never forget her touch, her caress, her intensity with which she wanted to please.

The young brunette grabbed Maura's head suddenly, her fingertips digging into her tousled hair. "Fuck!" came Jane's strangled cry as her back arched higher and higher off the bed, her orgasm finally slamming full-force, causing her to gasp for air. She felt the older woman's hands grip her hips harder in a desperate attempt to keep her pressed to the bed.

As the pleasurable surge receded, Jane fell completely limp to the bed, her chest heaving, and she gently pushed Maura's head away before letting her arms fall to the bed beside her body. "Too much," she breathed out, her eyes closed.

Slowly Maura pulled back, pushing herself up onto all fours and crawling up the right side of Jane's lithe body. Lying on her back, Maura touched as much of her body to the young brunette's as possible. After feeling gently for Jane's hand, Maura interlaced her fingers with Jane's, the backs of their hands still touching, and closed her eyes, releasing a contented sigh.

The two laid there in silence for several moments before Maura spoke. "How do you feel?"

"I, uh, don't really like talking about this kind of stuff," the young brunette whispered.

Hesitating only for a moment, Maura replied, "What kind of 'stuff'?"

"Feelings," Jane told her, "Sex."

Maura frowned to herself. "So we just engaged in sexual activity and you have nothing to say about it?"

The brunette blushed furiously, despite that Maura wasn't even looking at her. "Okay, maybe just that, uh, you definitely have to have done that before," the brunette replied softly.

Maura didn't dare turn her head to look at her now lover, less she fluster her further. "It has been many years, but yes. I have performed cu-" Maura paused, feeling that the term was too clinical, too impersonal. "I've done that quite a few times before, Jane."

Biting her lip, despite the fact that Maura wasn't looking, the young brunette replied, "That's the, uh, first time I've let someone do that."

Squeezing Jane's hand lightly, Maura said simply. "I know."

"How do you-"

"You looked as nervous about it as I felt the first time someone did it to me," Maura gave one small laugh before slipping her hand from Jane's and rolling onto her right side to face Jane. "It's also not the first time I've seen that look on a lover's face before."

The young brunette then rested her hands on her stomach, lacing her own fingers together. Maura trailed a finger up her arm slowly, over her hand. Jane could feel the older woman observing her quietly and she swallowed, self-conscious and flushing redder.

"You really _**don't**_ like talking about emotions and sex, do you? Especially not together," Maura finally stated.

Jane eventually turned her head toward the older woman, meeting her dark, hazel eyes. She blinked slowly as she shook her head no, but said nothing.

Maura placed her hand, palm open, on top of Jane's laced-together fingers on her stomach. Biting her lip, she then quietly assured her, "You can talk to me about anything. I want you to feel comfortable with me, okay?"

"I do, I promise, I just...feel embarrassed talking about sex, I guess," Jane admitted softly, looking back up at the ceiling.

"Well then just let me ask you my one question," the older reddish blonde said quietly.

Jane's jaw set briefly before she replied, "Only if you tell me why you really started crying."

"I told you already, Jane. Do you think I was lying?"

"But you weren't telling me the whole truth either, were you?" Jane raised her eyebrows, looking back at her older lover.

"Will you answer my question first?" Maura asked quietly.

"Fine. What's your question?"

"Do you want this to happen again?"

Jane swallowed hard.

"I don't want this to be a one time thing," Maura confessed in a whisper, glancing down.

"I'm scared, Maura."

Immediately Maura's eyes sought Jane's again, concerned. "Of what?"

"Tons of things, but mostly of you breaking my heart," the brunette whispered.

"Oh, Jane," the older woman murmured, leaning forward to press her lips tenderly to Jane's, closing her eyes. "The last thing I want to do is break your heart," she replied softly against the brunette's mouth.

The young brunette pulled away, scooting to the edge of the bed. Finally she replied in so low of a voice, Maura almost didn't hear her, "But you're going to."

"You don't know that, Jane," Maura replied, swallowing hard at the lump in her throat.

The older woman watched silently as Jane slipped off the bed, found her discarded clothes, and redressed. Tears prickled her eyes and she tried to blink them away, only to cause them to fall down her cheeks. "You don't know that," Maura repeated, swiping her palms quickly across her cheeks to dry them. She slid to the edge of the bed and then off it to stand behind a now-dressed Jane. She wrapped her arms around the brunette's waist and buried her face into Jane's back.

Jane's arms hung limp at her sides. She swallowed and whispered, "Tell me why you were crying."

"It's complicated," Maura replied, taking a step back.

"And?" Jane told her, turning around to face Maura. "Do you think I'm too young to understand? Too stupid?"

"Jane, no! I just," Maura paused, "Let me redress first." Spotting discarded silk fabric on the floor, the older woman bent forward to pick it up, quickly slipping it back over her head. She then faced Jane again fully. "It's been three years since I've felt the intimate touch of another person. Three years, and I'm married, Jane. I have felt so undesired as a woman for so long, and then you came into my life." She cupped Jane's jaw tenderly with her right hand, looking straight into dark pools. "And even when you just look at me, Jane, it makes me feel so...I don't even have the words for it honestly. The more we've talked the past few weeks, the closer I've wanted to be to you. There's something about you that stirs feelings inside me I haven't felt in a very long time, not even toward my husband."

Jane bit her lip nervously. "But you married him. You have two children with him. I don't understand why you would marry someone if you don't love them."

"There were a lot of reasons why I married him, and in my own way, I do love him. I don't think we need to discuss my reasons right now, but in time, I will tell you, if you want," Maura explained quietly. "I know that you're scared, and I honestly don't know what the future holds for us, both together and apart, but I want to enjoy my time now with you and we'll deal with what we must _**as**_we must, and not a moment sooner. Right now, I know that I already care deeply for you, Jane, and I want to continue to enjoy that feeling."

"What if at some point I decide I want more?" Jane whispered, looking down before slowly meeting Maura's eyes again. "Or you? You're married. Ethan and Samantha-"

Maura quickly silenced her with a slow, passionate kiss. Both women felt a familiar pull inside, and Maura leaned back, opening her eyes and softly replying, "You're putting too much pressure on yourself right now, too much on what's happening between us, on what _**could**_ happen between us." She leaned forward to kiss her again, humming against the brunette's soft lips. "Right now, focus on how it feels to kiss me. Focus on how you feel when we're together, how I make you feel. I'm trying to do the same right now because I put so much emphasis on logical reasoning and science. When it comes to you, Jane, I feel anything but logical."

"Maura, I have less than two months left here with you," the young brunette replied mournfully. "Then I'll be starting my second year at Roxbury, trying to prepare for transferring to a state school for a bachelor's, and," she hesitated, swallowing hard, "your h-husband will be back, and I just-"

"How many times do I have to kiss you to make you stop talking?" Maura interrupted before silencing Jane yet again with a bruising kiss, wrapping her arms around the young brunette's neck.

Almost immediately Jane pulled her head back and gripped the honey blonde's arms, loosening Maura's hold to gently push her away. "Stop doing that, Maura!" the brunette growled, taking a step back.

At the crestfallen expression that immediately flashed on the older woman's face, Jane's vexation lessened. "I just need a little time to think, okay? Please, can you just give me that?" she pleaded softly.

Maura lifted her hand and tenderly caressed the young woman's cheek. "If that's what you need, then yes, I absolutely can," she replied gently.

Relief washed over Jane's face. "Thank you. Goodnight, Maura," she whispered, leaning in to kiss the doctor softly at the corner of her mouth. Then slowly turning around, Jane walked toward the bedroom door, opening it quietly. As she was stepping through the open doorway, she hesitated and glanced back at the honey blonde doctor, who was standing there watching her leave, biting her lip, her brow furrowed deeply. Jane shot her a small, relaxed smile before continuing through the doorway, closing the door quietly behind her.

* * *

Your review, PM, follow, and/or favorite makes my heart joyful. I thank you sincerely for being so kind to this writing heart.


	7. Chapter 7

Once again, I am overjoyed with your feedback. It's absolutely wonderful and encouraging to me. Please continue to tell me what you think. :)

Note: This chapter is shorter than the last few, but it's very important.

* * *

Maura had already left for the hospital by the time Jane woke up at 7:30 the next morning.

After leaving Maura's bedroom the night before, Jane had quietly gone back to her own, locked the door, and stripped off her clothes to take a hot shower. She was stressed and upset by the conversation that she and Maura had just had. Only moments into her shower, though, she burst into tears, slumping against the cold tiles and sliding to the floor, sobbing with her knees against her chest.

Despite it only having been a month knowing the older woman, Jane knew that she was already falling for the beautiful, sophisticated surgeon. She'd crossed having an affair off her list of options for how to deal with her feelings, and yet when the older woman had confronted her directly, she'd folded faster than a poker player with no money left to bet despite a decent hand.

But good god, it had been good. _So good_. Being pressed up against Maura's toned, naked body had felt incredible, certainly better than the sex she'd had with either previous boyfriend. The sounds she'd caused to fall from the older woman's lips were maddening, and Jane wasn't sure she'd ever heard anything sexier in her life. Sex with Maura had felt _right_, not like she was having an affair with a married woman.

Nothing Maura had told her so far led Jane to believe her husband was a bad man. Maura had only said that he hadn't touched her since before Samantha was born, and the thought of him knowing and having what he had, yet not wanting it made Jane furious. Maura was brilliant, beautiful, a good cook, a wonderful mother, a loving, caring human being. And she was sexy, especially when she had that lustful look in her eyes. How could he just throw that all away?

There had to be something underneath the surface of Maura's relationship with her husband that she was keeping from Jane. Something darker, or at the very least, unsavory, Otherwise, why would Maura be okay with seducing her? Was it simply because Maura craved affection and intimacy from another person? Was it the excitement of having a secret affair? Was it Jane herself? What did she, a 19, almost 20 year old woman in junior college, planning to transfer to a four-year college to finish a bachelor's degree, have to offer a wealthy, beautiful, genius like Doctor Maura Isles?

All of these thoughts had come rushing to her at once, causing a complete meltdown in the middle of her shower. They haunted her, teased her, drove her insane.

When the younger brunette had woken up the next morning to find that Maura had already left, part of her had felt relieved, but part of her had wanted to panic. Was Maura running from her?

While Jane tried her best to proceed throughout the day with the children's normal routine, the thoughts that had caused her to fall apart in the shower the night before still crept in. She had no idea what she was going to do about Maura. The honey blonde had already gotten underneath her skin, had forged a place for herself deep inside of Jane's mind and heart, and trying to decide whether she would be able to handle the aftermath of throwing themselves into such a complicated situation, she realized, was already proving to be one of the most difficult things she'd dealt with so far in her almost 20 years of life. She knew, though, somehow deep inside, that Maura would be worth it, but when all was said and done, would the older woman turn her entire life upside down, along with the lives of her children, just to be with Jane?

Jane wasn't so sure.

* * *

Maura felt agitated. While normally she enjoyed her job, being called into the hospital an hour early had thrown a wrench in her plans. The way things had ended the night before, Maura had wanted to at least have a brief conversation with the young brunette to make sure she was okay.

But reality had come knocking at her door and as a result, she spent most of her day when not in surgery being distracted, thinking about Jane and their night together.

She didn't regret a single moment, except perhaps the moment when she had been unable to contain her emotional outburst after Jane had brought her to orgasm. But their kiss, having Jane touch her, pleasuring Jane...Maura regretted none of that. Being with the young brunette had been more fulfilling in one night than the last several years of her marriage, and if she was perfectly honest with herself, she wanted more of Jane.

When the first thought of actually seducing Jane had crossed her mind only a week prior, it had honestly startled her, despite having felt an intense connection with the young woman from the moment they'd met. Her marriage the last few years had been mediocre at best, even though her husband was otherwise a good man and father. He had simply stopped touching Maura sexually toward the end of her pregnancy with Samantha, and while she certainly longed for the physical connection, she felt too ashamed to ask. She didn't seek out help from a couple's therapist either, because she had always been told her entire life that what she had was eventually what marriage became, especially after having children. Why would she expect any different from her own?

She was not, however, a fool. After three years, it was almost a given that her husband had had affairs, perhaps even a few long-term ones, but still she stayed and just continued about her normal life, performing surgeries and taking care of their children. The thought of seeking out her own clandestine companion had crossed her mind many times, but between work and the children, she found neither the time, nor the energy to do so.

With her husband out of the country for the summer, though, she knew she would need help taking care of the children, so she had asked colleagues if they knew anyone who would be willing to be a nanny. Angela Rizzoli approaching her and suggesting her own daughter ended up being the perfect idea, a win-win for all.

Though Maura had expected Angela's daughter to be fairly intelligent and good with children, Jane was far more brilliant and intuitive than she ever would have imagined, especially for someone not even 20 years old. What surprised Maura most, however, was just how strikingly beautiful Jane was. For Maura, the intelligence, connection with her children, and beauty all together were a lethal combination. Jane was rare, and Maura wanted her desperately, not only as a lover, but as a friend and confidante as well.

When the older woman finally admitted to herself her desire for Jane, she began to flirt openly with her, hoping the young woman might get the hint, but still Jane did not cross the invisible barrier between them. Jane confessing that she did feel something developing between them gave Maura a little more incentive to push harder, and the emotional moment between them the night before had broken down both their walls, causing both of them to give in to overwhelming desire and temptation.

The sex had been incredible, Maura thought, and their established friendship before made their heated encounter even more meaningful for the lonely honey blonde. She wanted to be with Jane again, as much as possible, in fact, in the short time they had alone together. She knew that she would have to handle the situation carefully when her husband returned, but what she thought she was beginning to feel for the young woman would change her world completely.

If, and only if, Jane would allow it.

* * *

Just as Jane was crawling into bed, completely exhausted at almost 9:45, her phone chimed with a text message.

_**I'm sorry I didn't get to see you this morning. I got called to the hospital a little earlier than scheduled.**_

Reading the text, the young brunette's heart leapt into her throat. Before she could type out a reply, however, her phone chimed again.

_**I know you said you needed a little time to think, but I want you to know that I don't regret last night. I care about you and I want to explore what's happening between us.**_

Jane closed her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat, and took a deep, cleansing breath. Some of her fearful thoughts had been for naught, and knowing Maura wasn't running away from her after all calmed her a bit. But knowing that Maura wanted to continue being with her, even though her whole life could go down in flames...the young brunette wasn't sure her own heart could survive if the end result was anything other than the chance to be completely with Maura.

Staring at her phone, Jane tried to think of a response. Everything she thought of felt like a lie, or at the very least, a half-truth. _I hate that I missed you this morning, too. _Except only half of me does. _I enjoyed last night, too. _Except now I'm not sure it was a good idea. _I'm scared because I think I might be falling in love with you_. Except saying that will make you run for the hills. _I want to be with you again, too. _But I already know that's a bad idea.

_**Jane?**_  
_**Are you ignoring me? **_

The brunette sighed heavily, closing her eyes briefly before typing out a reply. _**I don't know what to say right now.**_

Ding_. __**Do you regret last night?**_

Jane figured it was best to be honest. _**I don't know. I'm really confused right now.**_

Suddenly Jane's phone began to ring. She bit her lip and stared at the small screen, seeing Maura's name in big, bold font. Hesitantly she tapped the green answer button. "Maura." Her voice was quiet, nervous and unsure of what to expect.

"Jane, hi," Maura breathed out. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

"Isn't that kinda dangerous in surgery?"

"During surgery has been the only exception. I am at least professional and experienced enough to compartmentalize during such important tasks, Jane," Maura replied, her tone almost teasing. "But I've only had three surgeries today, in my defense."

"Oh."

Maura's voice dropped low. "I can't stop thinking about how you taste and how much I want to-"

"Maura, stop," Jane interrupted, blushing profusely. "You said you would give me time to think."

"Have you not been thinking today?"

Silence.

"Does your silence imply that you have been, or that you haven't been?" Maura asked hesitantly.

The young brunette sighed heavily while she picked at a loose string on the hem of her sleep shorts. "I haven't been able to stop thinking."

The older woman was silent for a moment before she quietly asked, "And what exactly have you been thinking, Jane?"

"A lot of things," Jane replied with a shrug, despite only talking on the phone.

Maura urged, "Just tell me one example. Please?"

"I don't," Jane began, exasperation beginning to creep into her voice. "Can we not do this over the phone?"

"Talking on the phone is our only option right now, Jane," the older woman replied softly. "I fear," she paused briefly, "I fear that leaving you alone with your thoughts until I finish my rotation will result in you distancing yourself from me, both emotionally and physically."

"You're married, Maura," the brunette whispered painfully, "and I think maybe we shouldn't have-"

Quickly Maura interrupted, "I am fully aware of the possible consequences of my actions in regards to my marriage, and as I told you last night, I am prepared to deal with them, whatever they may be, when the time comes."

On the other end, Jane was silent, unsure of what to say next.

"Until then, I want to be with you as much as possible," Maura continued, her voice dropping low again. "I want to feel you naked against me as much as possible."

Jane closed her eyes as hot tears welled up, inhaling quickly before releasing a controlled breath. "Is that all I mean to you, Maura? Someone to have sex with?"

"I'm still uncertain of everything you mean to me, Jane," the honey blonde responded softly. "Why do you think I'm so desperate to find out?"

* * *

I hope you will take a moment to leave me a review. Or several moments, if you're feeling generous!


	8. Chapter 8

I don't have much to say, but I want to start you off with this quote:

"Writers write for one reason: to create an emotion in the reader, to reach across and make them feel something. You want a reaction. Yeah, it's nicer when the reaction is to throw flowers than it is to throw brickbats, but you have to accept both equally." [J. Michael Straczynski]

When I write, I do hope I create emotion in you.

* * *

It was only a few minutes after 5am when Maura crept into the house, barely able to stay awake while even standing. All she wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for days. The last thirty hours had been so busy, she had barely even had time to text Jane. She closed the door behind her and climbed the stairs, grabbing the railing to keep herself from falling. Approaching the top landing, she didn't even think twice before turning right and heading straight to Jane's room. Quietly she slipped inside the brunette's bedroom, jerking her scrub top off and unfastening her bra. She shoved her scrub bottoms over her hips, leaving her panties on, and, pulling back the covers, crawled as gently as possible into the brunette's bed.

Jane was in the middle of the bed, facing the left side. She startled awake when she felt a warm hand grab her wrist and wrap her arm around a bare midsection. "Maura?" she mumbled. "What are you doing?"

"Need sleep. Hold me," Maura nearly slurred, as she scooted back to press up against the younger woman's frame.

"But the kids might come in here and see us," Jane muttered groggily, though still pulling the older woman tighter against her.

Maura grunted softly. "Sleep. Can't care now."

Sighing, Jane laid there for several minutes before she gingerly extracted herself from around the honey blonde and slid out of bed. She tiptoed to her dresser and quietly pulled out a large t-shirt. The brunette knew potentially bad things could happen if the children discovered their own mother almost naked in Jane's bed, so she crawled back into bed and whispered, "Sit up, Maur."

"Hmm?"

The brunette pulled Maura into a sitting position and slipped the shirt over her head before gently putting each of her arms through the sleeves. She lowered Maura back onto the bed and settled in behind her again, wrapping her arm around her lover's waist once more.

When Jane's alarm went off not even two hours later, the young woman groaned and tried to roll over, only to have her movement halted by someone laying halfway on top of her. Peeking open her right eye, she saw honey blonde hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and finally remembered Maura crawling into her bed in the early morning hours. The older woman's arm was looped around Jane's middle, her right leg thrown across Jane's lower thighs, and her head resting in the crook of her shoulder.

The older woman did not stir in the slightest. Jane was torn between letting her simply sleep in her bed as long as she needed, waking her up and having her go back to her own bed, and simply carrying Maura to her bed. Finally she decided it would be best to let the blonde continue sleeping, and just make sure the children didn't go into her room until Maura had woken up and dressed herself.

It meant, however, altering her plans with the children that day, in order to let Maura sleep peacefully. Maybe, Jane thought, a trip to the library would be in order. Jane remembered going to the library as a child and loving the access to books, despite growing to dislike reading in late middle school.

Slowly, Jane slipped out from under Maura and pulled the covers over the sleeping woman. Maura made a slightly disgruntled face at the loss of contact, but did not wake up. The young woman stood by the edge of the bed for several moments, simply watching the beautiful woman sleep.

Suddenly a lump formed in her throat as she realized that her heart was probably already too far gone to save.

* * *

1:09pm. That's what the red numbers on the alarm clock said.

_Red numbers?_ Maura's alarm clock didn't have red numbers. She sat up quickly in bed and glanced around, confused. Finally realizing she was in the guest bedroom - Jane's bedroom - the older woman relaxed significantly. The oversized t-shirt covering her clearly belonged to Jane.

_Jane_, she smiled to herself, remembering how she'd simply crawled into her lover's bed, exhausted, and Jane had only barely protested. Silently Maura bent her head toward her chest and lifted the shirt to her nose, sniffing the fabric. It smelled like floral scented fabric softener and Jane. She smiled and pulled the covers back, sliding to the edge of the bed and setting her feet on the cold hardwood. Bending down, she picked up her scrub bottoms and pulled her phone from the right pocket, also feeling the cold metal inside of her keychain. She climbed back onto the bed and slipped underneath the covers once more, this time completely on Jane's side of the bed.

Sliding her thumb across the touchscreen, she unlocked her phone and pulled up her text messages. She had two from Jane.

_**Since you came in exhausted, took kids out to library so it'd be quiet while you sleep. Be back around 1:30, if you're even awake yet.**_

_**p.s. even tho it's sappy and I kinda hate myself for saying it, you do look beautiful when you sleep.**_

A grin broke out over Maura's face. Quickly she typed out a response. _**Put the children down for an early nap when you get home and come to my bedroom, if you'd like. **_

Hurriedly Maura crawled out of bed again, and unable to resist the urge, made the bed. Gathering her belongings, she quickly headed to her bedroom, closing the door, but leaving it unlocked, and then stripped out of her clothes, dropping all into the dirty clothes hamper. The clock read 1:25pm and the older woman hoped she could time a shower just right to have Jane entering her bedroom as she was picking out an outfit for the rest of the day, standing in only a thin robe.

* * *

The young brunette tapped her knuckles lightly on the closed bedroom door, waiting for a few seconds, but Maura did not respond. Quietly she gripped the cold metal doorknob and slowly turned it, finding it, as expected, unlocked. Peeking her head through the partially opened door, she quietly called out the older woman's name.

"In here!" Maura called back from the walk in closet.

Jane swallowed nervously, immediately knowing she was about to find the honey blonde in some state of undress. Despite having already felt each other's bodies skin on skin, Jane was still apprehensive about seeing her this way. She took a tentative step toward the source of Maura's voice when suddenly Maura's head popped around the door frame.

"I'm having trouble deciding what to wear the rest of the day. Come help me?"

"Um, just wear something comfortable?" the brunette suggested, frozen in place.

Maura frowned, replying, "Despite what you think, the clothes I wear on a daily basis do feel comfortable," and then added, "At least they are to me."

"Okay, then wear something 'casual,' like yoga pants and a shirt. You've had a rough rotation, so you should relax," Jane advised.

The older woman smirked and stepped out of the closet completely.

Jane swallowed nervously as she took in Maura's attire - a black, mid-thigh length silk robe that hung open on her thin, but curvaceous frame, revealing lacy black boyshort panties and a matching black bra.

Maura's tongue flicked out to wet her lips. "I can think of another way to relax, Jane."

"Wow, you look...wow," the brunette stammered.

"Do you like what you see?"

Speechless, Jane nodded, blushing a little.

"As the children are napping, I estimate we have at least an hour," Maura replied, stepping forward toward to wrap her arms around Jane's waist, pressing her body against the young brunette's.

Hesitantly Jane placed her hands on Maura's hips and shot Maura a half-hearted smile, leaning in closer to the honey blonde's face. "Are you sure? Do you think maybe we should slow things down?"

"Do you want to slow things down between us?" Maura replied softly.

Jane bit her lip for a moment before shaking her head. "But at some point I feel like we should talk."

"Then we'll talk," Maura assured her. "But later, please? I've missed you."

Immediately Jane knew the honey blonde meant in general, but the way Maura said it simply sent a thrill of arousal spiraling through her lower belly. "Okay," the young brunette agreed quietly. "We should probably lock the door though, just in case?"

The older woman ran her tongue along the back of her top teeth, smiling and nodding. When Jane returned to stand in front of her, she asked, "Would you like to take off my robe?"

Wordlessly Jane reached to Maura's shoulders and slowly slipped her fingers underneath the silky fabric, lifting and pushing back. The robe parted open more, revealing the sinful black lingerie that made Jane's breath catch. Slowly the silk fell off Maura's shoulders, slipping down her arms and finally to the floor. Her dark eyes never left mostly green hazel.

"Are you nervous this time?" the beautiful doctor whispered.

Jane swallowed before taking a deep breath and nodding briefly.

"Don't be," Maura whispered, leaning close to Jane's mouth to clearly initiate a kiss. "You did very well the other night."

The young brunette tentatively placed her hands on Maura's hips, thumbs rubbing both lace and smooth skin. She smiled, tongue peeking out to wet her lips, and gently pushed Maura backwards until she was pressed against the bed. "I think that was mostly you, Maura," Jane replied, smirking against the honey blonde's lips.

"If I recall correctly," Maura mused, "your fingers were inside of me, not my own."

Instantly Jane blushed and looked down.

Suddenly Maura had an idea. "Tell me about your dream," she requested softly.

"My dream?" Jane looked up, brows furrowed in confusion.

"You had a dream about us, remember?" the honey blonde smirked, quirking up an eyebrow.

The thought of telling Maura about her sex dream made Jane blush harder than ever.

"Tell me," Maura repeated, her voice dropping low. She could already feel the arousal pooling between her legs.

Embarrassed, Jane was unable to meet Maura's now dark eyes. "I was in the clawfoot tub, taking a bath. You snuck in, undressed, and slipped in behind me. T-Then you touched me." Visions from her dream flashed vividly in her mind, and she fought the urge to close her eyes and moan.

Slowly Maura licked her lips, taking in Jane's embarrassed appearance. "Surely it was more elaborate than what you just described," the older woman teased. "Do you want me to fill in the details?"

Jane said nothing as Maura maneuvered their bodies so that Jane's back and legs were pressed against the end of the bed instead. Maura slipped her right leg between Jane's widened stance and pressed her body flush against the young woman's. Quietly, keeping eye contact with Jane, the doctor unbuttoned Jane's jean shorts one-handed, sliding the zipper down. "I would slip into the tub behind you and wrap my arms around your waist, pulling you back to lean against me." She slowly ran a finger along the elastic of Jane's panties.

Closing her eyes, Jane breathed out hard at the teasing caress.

"I would slip my hands up to cup your beautiful breasts." Maura dipped her fingers underneath the elastic, feeling coarse hair thicken slightly as she slipped them further toward their goal.

"Then, slowly, I'd slide my right hand down your torso, over your navel, and finally between your legs." Feeling Jane's clit protruding out underneath the tip of her middle finger, Maura pressed down, and as she began to rub light circles on it, the young brunette whimpered, her hips bucking lightly. Pushing her finger down, Maura parted Jane's folds, immediately feeling how slick they were. She glanced up at Jane, whose eyes were still closed. "Do you like when I talk to you?"

Jane whimpered again, biting her lip and furrowing her brow in concentration. She opened her eyes to meet Maura's lustful ones.

"I'd slip a finger inside you slowly and curl it gently." As the honey blonde spoke, she circled Jane's entrance and then pushed her hand further down inside Jane's shorts and panties, entering her smoothly.

"Oh my god, Maura," the young woman gasped, eyes closing again as she clenched tight around Maura's single digit inside her. She then felt Maura slip another finger through her wetness and pull out slightly before pressing two fingers at her entrance.

"I'd tell you that you feel good clenching so tightly around my fingers," Maura continued. "Then I'd curl my fingers inside of you, slowly at first until you were begging me to do it harder."

"Please," Jane urged quietly, opening her eyes. "Please, inside again."

"Climb up on the bed. Against the pillows."

Obediently the brunette hoisted herself backwards on the bed and Maura quickly pulled her shorts down over slim hips, bringing panties along with them, before Jane scooted all the way up the bed.

Maura curled her tongue behind her front teeth briefly as she crawled onto the bed after Jane, coming to rest on Jane's right side. Quickly she parted Jane's thighs wide, hooking Jane's right leg over her own, Jane's calf resting against the back of hers. She placed her right hand back on Jane's center and looked into the young brunette's eyes.

"Please," Jane begged.

Swiftly the older woman slipped her middle and ring fingers back inside, loving the way that Jane's eyes fluttered shut and she gasped in pleasure. Maura slowly curled them inside her, causing Jane to contract around her fingers.

"Touch yourself," Maura whispered, breath hot against her lover's lips. "Touch your clitoris."

Jane bucked against Maura's hand as the honey blonde's fingers fluttered against her inner walls before finally moving her left hand between her thighs and touching herself. "Fuck," she grunted softly as she began to rub circles on her clit. Her back arched almost involuntarily.

As the older honey blonde continued curling her fingers inside, she looked observantly at her young lover's closed eyes. Jane's expression might have been described as one of pain, by some, but Maura knew differently. From the contractions around her fingers to Jane's now labored breathing, she knew the brunette was incredibly close to orgasm.

"Harder, Jane," Maura instructed, breath teasing the young woman's lips. "Touch yourself harder."

Jane let out a strangled cry as she increased the pressure on her clit. "Oh god."

The only remaining sounds then were slick, wet ones while Maura moved her fingers inside her lover, coupled with heavy pants.

Suddenly the young brunette's body froze as her pleasure peaked, before finally her hips bucked over and over against Maura's hand. Her hand continued moving frantically, trying to prolong the sensations. Her older lover fluttered her fingers inside before finally Jane could take absolutely no more and grabbed Maura's wrist to stop her movement. Jane's head fell limply toward Maura, eyes opening slowly, as she breathed hard.

When Maura slipped her fingers from inside Jane, the young woman lazily opened her eyes, humming lightly with content.

"I," Jane started, before pausing, suddenly feeling nervous. "I think I might be fa-"

"No," Maura interrupted, eyes widening before her expression became one of pain. "Don't say it. Not yet."

The two observed each other quietly for a few moments, both noticing the fear but also tenderness in each other's eyes.

Finally the honey blonde settled into Jane's side, resting her head on Jane's chest and draping her arm across Jane's stomach. She listened to the soft thump of her lover's heart, letting it soothe the ache she had felt inside for so many years.

Jane bent her arm that was underneath the older woman and let her hand fall to idly trace her fingers up and down Maura's arm. For a few moments, the brunette contemplated what to say, if anything. Finally she settled on whispering, "We still have some time, do you want me to-"

"Hm-mm," Maura hummed. "I just want you to hold me, please."

Tightening her arm around Jane, Maura released a sigh of contentment and she felt the young brunette squeeze her arm around Maura in return.

* * *

Thank you for reading. :) Stay tuned for the next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

I think I have the best readers ever. I really, truly do. You all are so amazing, kind, thoughtful...everything I could ever want in a reader, and I assure you I'm not just saying that so you will leave a review. I do feel incredibly lucky to have you all.

This chapter is much shorter than the last, but it packs a punch. Also, translations can be found at the end.

* * *

The house phone rang just before 8 that evening. Maura and Jane were standing in front of the kitchen sink, washing glasses together from dinner while Samantha sat at the kitchen island, coloring in an animal coloring book, and Ethan sat beside her, reading.

The shrill ringing from across the kitchen startled the four of them, but immediately Ethan placed a bookmark between the pages and slammed the book shut, clamboring down off the high seat. "I'll get it!"

Immediately Maura turned and chastised, "No, you know the rules. Please just bring me the phone, Ethan."

Ethan huffed, but quickly retrieved the phone, handing it dutifully to his mother, who'd quickly dried her hands before he brought it to her. He then scurried back to his seat and climbed into it, picking up his book again.

Not bothering to glance at the Caller ID, Maura hit the button with her thumb and greeted, "Hello, this is Maura Isles." She turned and smiled at Jane after speaking.

The older woman's expression then faltered, as she glanced away from Jane toward the children and spoke quietly, "_Christophe, mon cher, ça va?_"

Jane's brow furrowed at Maura's foreign words and she vaguely recognized them as French from the little bit she had taken in elementary school. A chill coursed down her spine when she heard Ethan excitedly exclaim, "Is it _Papa_?" pronouncing Papa with an accent.

"_Alors comment va ton projet?_" Maura asked, and though Jane didn't understand, she could tell by the intonation that it was a question.

Standing completely frozen, Jane heard the man rattling on in French. Finally he said something else and paused, leaving Jane to assume he had asked Maura something.

"_Mais oui, nous allons bien. J'étais en train de faire la vaisselle avec Jane,_" Maura replied, pausing briefly before glancing back to Jane and swallowing hard, meeting her dark eyes. "_la nounou_."

Suddenly the young brunette couldn't breathe and she looked down. Standing there listening to Maura speak to her husband, and then next, she assumed, their children, she felt as if someone had plunged an icy hand inside her chest and gripped her heart, squeezing it with intent to destroy. It was when she felt Maura's hand touch her own that she realized was gripping the counter tightly, her knuckles white. The older woman squeezed her hand softly and Jane finally looked back up at Maura.

"Oh yes, her mother volunteers at the hospital and we arranged it all. Jane has been wonderful, Christophe," Maura said, finally, in English. Then she bit her lip. "I'm," she paused, swallowing a lump in her throat. "I'm not sure what we'll do when she leaves." She maintained eye contact with the young brunette the entire time she spoke those words.

The next thing Maura knew, Jane no longer was standing there before her. The young woman was hurrying out of the kitchen entirely, but before Maura could follow, Ethan and Samantha were standing in front of her, tugging gently at her shirt, begging to speak with their father. "Christophe, the children want to speak with you. _Je te laisse avec eux, d'accord?_" Quickly handing the telephone to Ethan, Maura pivoted on her heel and took off after the brunette.

The brunette was at the top of the stairs, turning toward her room, when Maura planted her foot on the bottom step of the staircase. "Jane, wait!" she cried, scrambling up the stairs after her. "Please talk to me!"

Jane hurried into her room, closing the door and locking it in one fluid motion, before slumping against it and sliding to the floor like that night in the shower. She couldn't breathe, her heartbeat slamming inside her chest. Everything sounded hollow in her ears.

Then the older woman was rattling the doorknob, begging to be let in. "Please, Jane, please just open the door." Her soft voice was dripping raw emotion.

Suddenly it hit Jane and she felt as if she were falling, unable to stop herself.

Married.

_Married._

_**Married**_.

She was "the other woman."

Maura didn't belong to her. She _**couldn't**_. She belonged to Christophe. It was _**his**_ ring that Maura wore. It was _**his**_ children Maura gave birth to.

Bile rose into her throat and she tried desperately to swallow it to no avail. Leaping up, Jane sprinted for her bathroom, making it to the toilet just in time for her dinner to empty itself from her stomach. Once more her stomach lurched, though only a dry heave. Wiping off her chin, Jane sat there for a few moments, reaching up to flush down the contents of the toilet bowl.

Then she heard the soft voice of her lover floating from the bathroom doorway. "I'm sorry," Maura whispered. "I wasn't expecting him to call. We've only," then she paused, suddenly knowing she shouldn't speak further of her husband. The older woman's approaching footsteps were light but noticeable in the silence. "Are you okay?"

Jane slowly rose, not facing Maura, and turned toward the sink. First she rinsed her hands, then rinsed out her mouth, before finally grabbing her toothbrush and toothpaste. She said nothing as Maura came closer to her, standing behind her and meeting her gaze in the mirror. Immediately, tears prickled the corners of her eyes and she looked back down, struggling not to cry. She then bent forward and spit foamy paste into the sink, rinsing first her mouth and then toothbrush. Setting her brush back down, she met Maura's concerned eyes in the mirror again. "I can't," Jane croaked out, "I can't do this, I don't know if I can do this."

"Christophe calling doesn't change how I feel about you, Jane," Maura assured softly. "I care about you just as much now as I did before."

"You're cheating," Jane replied tearfully. "I'm...the other woman. Before he was just...I dunno...he existed, but he didn't at the same time, and now he's real. Now we're not in our own little bubble anymore and I just...this is just so much to take in right now."

"Please turn around," Maura requested gently. When the younger woman did, Maura reached for Jane's left hand, and holding it tenderly between her own hands, she placed it over her heart, palm flattened. "Right now, I want this to be yours." With her left hand, she reached for Jane's, and then slid both of Jane's hands down to cup her breasts. "These are yours." She slipped the brunette's left hand down between her legs. "This is yours."

Jane sucked in a sharp breath.

"Don't you see, Jane?" Maura whispered, placing her hands on Jane's hips. "I belong to you now. I could never belong to him again. You have done something to me that neither you nor I can take back, and I never want to. Do you know why?"

Hesitating, the brunette finally shook her head, not trusting herself to speak.

"Because you make me want something better for myself, for my children. You make me feel, for once in my life, that I truly don't have to settle."

"Mama!" came Ethan's shout from the hallway, breaking both Jane and Maura from their intimate conversation. "_Papa_ wants to talk to you again!"

Instinctively Maura took a step back, but then quickly stepped forward again and pressed her lips against Jane's, her tongue flicking out to taste the young woman's lips. "I'm yours, Jane," she whispered. "_**Yours**_." Gently Maura cupped Jane's cheek for a moment, before finally turning away and walking out of the young brunette's bathroom and bedroom.

Jane stood there quietly, reaching behind her back to steady herself on the sink countertop. Her head was swimming, her heart thumping wildly in her chest.

There was no turning back now, and both of them knew it.

* * *

Translations:

"_Christophe, mon cher, ça va?"_ - Christophe, my dear, how are you?

"_Alors comment va ton projet?"_ - How is your project coming along?

"_Mais oui, nous allons bien. J'étais en train de faire la vaisselle avec Jane, [...] la nounou."_ - Of course, we're doing well. I was busy doing the dishes with Jane, [...] the nanny.

"_Je te laisse avec eux, d'accord?"_ - I'm leaving you with them, ok? (in the sense that Maura is leaving the phone with the children so he can speak with them.)

**I apologize that I didn't put the translations in with the text - I just feel that having them there disrupts the flow of the story. **


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you for sticking with me through the madness. I feel as if it is important to mention that all of my chapters lately have been heavily beta'd by BostonRocket. Without her encouragement and feedback, I don't know how I'd continue. The biggest thank you imaginable goes out to her.

This chapter is so so so _**so** _important, and perhaps my favorite so far.

* * *

The honey blonde put the children to sleep that night, as had become habit when she was home from the hospital. Halfheartedly she tried to imitate Jane's pajama monster, but she and the children all knew it wasn't the same. Still they played along, trying to find as much amusement in the routine as possible.

After closing the children's bedroom doors and wishing them goodnight, Maura went in search of Jane, as the two had spoken very little since her husband's phone call. She was surprised to open her lover's bedroom door only to find her not there, nor in her bathroom. Confused, she descended the stairs and checked the entire floor, still to no avail. The car keys to the Audi were still in the kitchen in the proper bowl on the counter. Quickly Maura headed upstairs to her bedroom, the only place left to look. Still empty.

Now frantic, Maura grabbed her phone and checked her messages. Nothing from Jane. Immediately she found the young brunette in her contacts and called. A faint ringing sound floated from down the hall. She followed the noise, only to find Jane's cell phone sitting on her nightstand.

The brunette was gone.

Maura sank to the floor against the brunette's bed and started to cry.

* * *

Jane had had to get out of there. She needed to run and to think and to just feel the heat and sweat on her skin. Not even thinking twice, she threw on her running clothes and left, accidentally leaving behind her cellphone.

She had never thought about Maura's husband in reality, only in abstract. For her, it almost felt like an "out of sight, out of mind" kind of thing, but she should have known better. Realistically, he could have shown up at any point, she knew, despite the fact that he was in Japan for three months. Even if it were only for a few days to visit with the children, theoretically it was possible. Or he could call, like he had.

That thought terrified her. Jane wanted Maura, not just for the summer. She wanted the older woman in a way that she had never expected to want someone, but Maura technically wasn't hers. _Legally_, she wasn't hers. Maura was married to Christophe. The young brunette already knew she wasn't going to be able to handle breaking things with Maura smoothly. The whole situation was likely to end badly, and not in Jane's favor either.

Except a little nagging feeling inside of Jane's heart said Maura would choose her in the end.

Jane was too afraid to listen to it.

* * *

Nearly 10 songs had played on Jane's running playlist, so she estimated she'd been gone between 30 and 45 minutes. Remembering she'd left her phone on her nightstand and hadn't left a note for Maura, Jane decided she should probably head back and finally talk to the older woman. While she dreaded it, she knew after Maura's husband calling that it was time to start asking questions and getting the answers that she needed.

She turned the block and estimated that she had about half a mile, maybe less, back to the house. Now that she was thinking about it, Maura was probably worried sick about where she was, so she began to run faster.

* * *

The young brunette let herself in and quickly rushed up the stairs, intent on taking a quick shower after her run, wanting to wash away the sweat before she spoke with Maura. Rounding the corner, she noticed that her bedroom door was open. She walked through the doorway to find Maura sitting on the floor, her back against the bed frame, hugging her knees. Tears were streaming down her face.

Immediately concern coursed through Jane. "Maura? What's wrong? What happened?"

The older woman looked up, surprised, and then swiped furiously at her cheeks, shaking her head. "Nothing, nothing. I'm fine."

Jane quietly knelt in front of Maura. "Please tell me."

"It's silly. I'd rather not."

After Jane gave her an earnest, pleading look, Maura looked down and finally whispered, "I thought maybe you'd left. It was foolish to think so, since you wouldn't want to leave behind your belongings, especially your cell phone. But I searched the whole house and you weren't here." Slowly Maura looked up, meeting Jane's dark eyes. "You didn't tell me you were leaving, and because of what happened this evening..."

"I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I just," Jane paused, biting her lip. "I needed to get out of here and think, so I went running."

"Of course, of course. I was simply concerned. You know normally I don't assume, but considering you weren't anywhere to be found, there was only one logical conclusion for me - that you had left, at least temporarily."

"Maur," Jane started, swallowing hard. "We have to talk, and I mean really talk, about what we're doing, about what's going on between us, Because I'm not sure that I can do this if-" The young brunette voice cracked, and she looked away.

"If what?" Maura pressed.

Jane's words were barely a whisper as she made eye contact again. "If you don't end up feeling the same way I do. But it's more than that, even."

Maura was unsure of what to say, because she didn't even know how she felt about the young brunette. She was married, not necessarily happily, but married, and had two children, and Jane was only 19. Maura didn't even know if Jane had ever been in love before. In fact, Maura didn't know if she herself had ever truly been in love before. Close, perhaps, but absolutely? She wasn't sure.

The two sat in silence for several minutes before Maura finally said, "I've always been fond of Christophe, but I don't know that I've ever truly been in love with him. We got married because we felt content. It was never about passion, simply companionship. Neither of us ever truly expected to fall in love with someone like you read about in literature, or see in movies."

"So I guess you could say you settled for each other?"

"Yes, I suppose that's the best way to phrase it," Maura reasoned.

Jane's brow furrowed deeply as she thought for a moment. "Then why have you stayed with him if, if he doesn't, if you don't-"

"If we no longer have an intimate relationship?" Maura finished.

"Yeah," Jane replied. "Maura, I just don't understand. You're incredible! You're intelligent, beautiful, sexy...why wouldn't he want you?"

Maura bit her lip and looked away. "I don't know. I've never bothered to ask."

"But I want you," the young brunette whispered.

Slowly Maura stood and crawled backwards onto Jane's bed, lying down on her side with her head on Jane's pillow. Jane rose and stood at the side of the bed, looking at her, waiting for direction. Patting the bed, Maura softly told her, "Come here."

Jane climbed onto the bed, mirroring Maura's position, their bodies within a half arm's length. She met Maura's eyes and the older woman smiled.

After several quiet moments, Maura lifted her hand up to cup Jane's cheek softly. "You are very special to me, Jane. I hope you know that."

Tears welled in the corners of Jane's eyes. "But?"

"But what?"

"That kind of statement is always followed by a 'but,'" Jane whispered.

"There is no but, Jane," Maura replied softly, "I promise."

Jane lifted her hand and gently gripped Maura's hand on her cheek, bringing their hands down between them and linking their fingers together.

"If we continue this, it's going to become complicated," Maura said, sadness creeping into her voice.

"It's already complicated, Maura."

"Do you think you can handle it?"

"Why wouldn't I be able to? Because I'm only 19?"

Immediately Maura frowned. "No, age often has very little to do with being able to handle this kind of situation."

"I want you, Maura," Jane replied. "I want to be with you."

"We still," Maura replied, before pausing and biting her lip. "We still have to be extremely discreet, Jane, especially around the children."

"We can do that. We're already doing that."

"Okay," Maura breathed out.

A few moments of silence stretched between them. Jane eventually glanced down, feeling a little awkward. Then she asked something that had crossed her mind several times. "Do you think your, um, think he's having an affair?"

Maura exhaled, blowing breath out with her lips formed in a circle. "Statistically speaking, he's probably already had several by now, though I don't have any actual evidence. But I also haven't been looking for it, either."

"Does that upset you? That he might've?"

The older woman licked her lips, thinking. "If he in fact has, I don't think I would have any right to be upset, given my current situation."

"And what if we had never met? Would you be upset then?"

"I don't like questions that begin with 'what if,' Jane."

"Well let's suppose that we had never met-"

"How is that any better?"

Jane closed her eyes and released a frustrated sigh.

"Before you, I hadn't had sex with anyone in over three years. I have long since surpassed feeling angry that my husband no longer 'wants' me. I've accepted my situation as the norm, even if it has been incredibly lonely."

"It doesn't have to be. You deserve better, Maura."

"Right now, you're giving me better. Even when we're just talking or spending time with my children, you are giving me better, Jane."

"If I were someone else, would we still be together?" Jane asked suddenly.

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you're asking," Maura replied.

"Are you with me because I'm, well, me, I guess, or because I'm here, convenient, and you, um, want intimacy with another person?"

Maura's gaze softened immensely. "Oh, Jane," the honey blonde murmured.

"What?"

"Because you're _**you**_, of course. I want to be with you because I'm attracted to _**you**_, not the idea of you, or because I want physical intimacy. You're just," Maura sighed softly, closing her eyes briefly before opening them again and smiling at her lover. "When you look at me and smile, I get this odd sensation in my chest. I've never been able to find the words to describe the feeling, but I can only once in my life remember feeling this way about another person."

"Oh. What happened? Why aren't you with him, if he made you feel that way?"

"I came back to the States to attend university, and _she_ didn't want to leave Europe," Maura whispered. "So we parted ways, and we haven't spoken since."

Jane bit her lip as tears sprung to her eyes. She immediately looked away and rolled onto her back. With both arms resting by her sides, she stared up at the ceiling. "I don't," she started to say before stopping herself, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"You don't what?"

"I don't want this to be just a summer thing," the young brunette whispered tearfully. "I don't want to leave in August and never see you again."

Maura was silent for several seconds, contemplating how to respond.

Jane, however, misinterpreted Maura's silence instantly. "Oh god," she cried softly, sitting up quickly and sliding toward the edge of the bed. "You don't want to be with me," she whispered.

Reaching quickly to wrap her fingers around Jane's wrist, Maura tried to pull her back. "I do!" Maura asserted. "Jane, you have to understand how complicated this is on my part. I have to consider what's best for my children."

Jane wrenched her wrist free and slid off the bed, turning around to face Maura. "Then you should have thought about that before seducing me!" she spat vehemently. Her eyes were now black with anger.

"I do want to be with you," Maura replied calmly. "You know that I do."

"Do you, Maura? Do you?! Because it sounds like you'd rather stay married to a man who no longer loves you, and for what? So he can keep sleeping around while you spend your time craving the touch and love of another human being? That sounds wonderful, Maura. Just glorious!"

"You're not being fair to me, Jane."

"No," Jane replied, "what's not fair is I'm falling in love with someone who belongs to someone else!" The tears had quickly gathered in the corners of Jane's eyes and when she blinked, the wet drops slipped down her cheeks. Her shoulders sagged as she turned away from the honey blonde.

Maura scooted to the edge of the bed and slipped off to stand behind Jane. "Please turn around," she requested softly.

Jane didn't budge.

"If you love me, that's okay, but please know I'm not ready to say those words. However, that doesn't mean I don't care about you deeply, because I do...far more than you could ever possibly know right now," Maura said. "If, or perhaps when, the time comes, I will tell Christophe and the children. But right now, I don't want either of us to think about it."

Sighing, Jane replied quietly, "It's all I can think about."

"Then what can I do for you right now, Jane?" Maura asked. "Tell me what I can do to help you."

The young woman was quiet for several moments, mostly afraid to ask what her heart was screaming to know. "Is there any hope of us actually being together?" she asked finally. "Completely?"

Maura was silent for a moment, making sure she understood Jane's quiet words. What Jane really was asking was simple: are you going to leave your husband to be with me?

Her voice was shaky when she replied. "I don't think I could ever return to how my life was before you. Being with you has changed everything, Jane."

Jane knew that Maura was terrified to say the exact words she wanted to hear. Turning around finally, she faced a teary-eyed Maura. Briefly she met her eyes, but had to look down as she spoke her next words, her heart on the brink of shattering. "I can't keep being with you if there's no future for us."

"There can be, I think," Maura whispered. "But it won't be easy."

"I don't care. I just want to be with you."

Maura smiled, stepping closer to the Jane and wrapping her arms around the young woman's waist. "Then right now, let's truly just focus on being with each other."

"OK, I'll try."

"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight, or shall I stay in here?"

"Um, actually," Jane replied, hesitating. "Would you mind if we just slept separately tonight?"

The older woman tried her best to hide her disappointment and gave Jane a small smile. "Okay," she whispered, before looking down briefly.

Jane, however, detected the sadness in her lover's face. "Hey," she said softly, causing Maura to lift her head again. "Just for tonight, okay? It's just that a lot has happened today and I need a little time to myself."

"Yes, of course. I understand," Maura replied, nodding.

"We're okay, Maur."

Tears welled up in Maura's hazel eyes and she instantly looked down, avoiding Jane's intense eyes.

With her left hand, Jane tilted Maura's chin back up to meet her gaze. "I promise we're okay now." Slowly she leaned forward and pressed her lips gently to the honey blonde's. When she pulled back, Maura's eyes were still closed, but a smile graced her full lips.

Lazily Maura opened her eyes, finding Jane observing her. When Jane smiled back, Maura leaned back in quickly, kissing the younger woman with more force than before. This time the kiss lasted much longer and finally Maura had to force herself to pull back, eyes closed as she rested her forehead against Jane's. "Goodnight, my beautiful Jane," she whispered against Jane's lips.

"Goodnight, Maura," Jane replied softly. "Sweet dreams."

Stepping out of Jane's embrace, Maura turned to leave. As she took a step toward the door, she smiled hesitantly back at Jane and replied, "They certainly will be if I dream of you."

* * *

You are a beautiful, incredible soul for making it through this journey so far with me. Thank you!


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